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Band 3

Some people think that govements should spend money for faster public transportation , others think that there are other important priortities . Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #govements #money #transportation #priortities
some
people
 assume that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should spend
money
for
Change preposition
on
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 faster public transportation,
while
 others think that there are other crucial
priortities
Correct your spelling
priorities
,
Although
 both views are logical and significant,I think that there are many things in need
for
Change preposition
of
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this
money
 from the government
instead
 of spending it on public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
. To
began
Change the form of the verb
begin
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 with, the state is responsible for many important priorities
such
 as school costs.To illustrate, many parents can not
spent
Change the verb form
spend
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 their
money
 on their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children's
children
 that above 2 persons to school and it is not their fault to be deprived of studying and education,
Also
money
 should spent on building more hospitals to treat more patients and help
people
 as much as they can in every town on the country.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 they can build more huge malls to attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
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visitors from all over the world to enjoy and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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raise the country's economy.
Moreover
, spending
money
 for faster public
trasportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 can benefit all the individuals .
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 contrast, it can assist
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to arrive
quick
Change the word
quickly
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to
Change preposition
at
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 their destination in a short time.
Also
, public
tranports
Correct your spelling
transports
transport
 can reduce road congestion.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transit will help to
low
Replace the word
lower
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 the dependence on cars. In conclusion, developing public transportations bring a lot of advantages for
people
.
However
,the other priorities are more vital to benefit all age groups.
Submitted by bashayeralamer on

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introduction
Make sure to clearly state your thesis at the beginning of the essay. Your current introduction lacks a clear and concise statement of your opinion.
logical structure
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Use connectors such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Lastly' to show the progression of ideas.
supported main points
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples. Your examples should directly support your points and be more specific.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which is necessary for this type of essay.
introduction conclusion
Your concluding paragraph successfully summarizes your points and states your final opinion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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