The government should impose a fee on drivers who use their vehicles during rush hour to help cut down on pollution from exhaust fumes. To what extaent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
With the degradation of
ecosystem
at an alarming rate, a significant number of ecologists have called for the government to charge Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem
fee
on car drivers during rush hour, expressing concern about the destruction of the environment. They believe that Fix the agreement mistake
fees
this
national action would be appropriate for improving air quality. I wholeheartedly agree with this
opinion since it is integral to reduce the emission of fumes significantly for sustainable
environment.
Imposing a fee for car drivers during rush hour would have Add an article
a sustainable
Correct article usage
a substantially
substantially
impact on Change the adverb
substantial
alleviation
of air pollution. It is because Add an article
the alleviation
this
policy make
Change the verb form
makes
people
to be less likely to use
their personal vehicles to commute. For instance
, London, which has implemented this
policy since 2013, has reduced car driving
commuters to 30% in 2020, and its air quality has significantly improved compared to 2012Add a hyphen
car-driving
,
when the law didn’t Remove the comma
apply
implemented
. Change the verb form
implement
This
example clearly exhibits the implications of charging for vehicle drivers during traffic jam
.
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
However
, I believe that soley
taking Correct your spelling
solely
this
action does not fully address the concerning issue. To make our environment sustainable, encouraging more people
to use
public transportation should be simultaneously started. Introducing point
system for using Correct article usage
a point
puclic
transport would be the first step in motivating citizens to Correct your spelling
public
use
it frequently. In reality, Singapore has introduced a similar system, which
Change preposition
in which
people
can redeem their points gained after using public transit, and consequently
, the rate of people
utilizing more
than doubled compared to the previous year. Correct pronoun usage
it more
This
shows that government should consider extra methods to discourage people
from using their private vehicles and lead them to use
public transportation.
In conclusion, we would be able to ease traffic congestion by imposing a fee and motivating people
to use
public transport during rush hour. This
could leads
, in return, to decline Wrong verb form
lead
emission
of fumes mitigating the impact of climate change continuously.Correct article usage
the emission
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coherence cohesion
Your essay contains logical structure and is well-organized. However, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain reader engagement.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are clear, ensure they are comprehensive enough to encapsulate your main arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported, but adding some more specific data or references could strengthen your arguments further.
task achievement
You have addressed the task well, but try to explore potential counterarguments to further enrich your discussion.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but make sure to provide an in-depth analysis to showcase a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Relevant examples have been provided, but further elaboration on these examples would help to enhance your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your main points.
task achievement
Your ideas and arguments are clearly presented, making it easy to follow your viewpoint.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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