IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pia charts below compare the hours worked by employees and self-employed houseworkers in 2014 in the UK.

The pia charts below compare the hours worked by employees and self-employed houseworkers in 2014 in the UK.
The
pia
Correct your spelling
pie
show examples
 charts show the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 worked by two categories of people, houseworkers who are self-employed and
employees
Use synonyms
 in the UK in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 homeworkers who are self-employed work fewer
hours
Use synonyms
 on average than
employees
Use synonyms
 with almost
three quarters
Add a hyphen
three-quarters
show examples
 of
employees
Use synonyms
 putting in a least 30
hours
Use synonyms
 per week and just over half of self-employed people doing so.
For example
Linking Words
, a greater proportion of
employees
Use synonyms
, which was 31,4% worked more than 45
hours
Use synonyms
 per week compared with 25,3% for self-employed homeworkers.
Likewise
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 just over a third of self-employed workers, which was 34,5% work between 30 and 45
hours
Use synonyms
, a much larger proportion of
employees
Use synonyms
, which was 42,1 % do so.
By contrast
Linking Words
, there is a marked difference between the two groups when it comes to working 30
hours
Use synonyms
 or less. In
this
Linking Words
 category, self-employed workers working 30
hours
Use synonyms
 or less per week accounted for 40,2% of the total as opposed to a much smaller proportion of
employees
Use synonyms
, only 26,4%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, employees with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: