IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age. Others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both viewers and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Schooling is a fundamental requirement for every individual born, and many people begin
this
Linking Words
 journey in the early stages of their lives.
While
Linking Words
 some individuals recommend that a child start going to
school
Use synonyms
 at an early
age
Use synonyms
, others say that
children
Use synonyms
 should not attend
school
Use synonyms
 until they are older.
However
Linking Words
, I believe it is important
to begin
Linking Words
 education at an older
age
Use synonyms
. Many parents consider early admission to
school
Use synonyms
 to be beneficial. It allows them to get an early kick-start on their academic and social skills. Students who begin early have a slight edge over those who start late, which may help them get admitted to various universities as they require young students and
also
Linking Words
 secure jobs early in their lives.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 a survey, it was found that
children
Use synonyms
 with an early education background had far better interpersonal and cognitive abilities,
whereas
Linking Words
 those who joined late had issues socialising in later life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many were adamant about sending
children
Use synonyms
 at a later
age
Use synonyms
 because they are usually dependent on parents to support them in basic activities
such
Linking Words
 as teaching them to walk, feed, dress, etc.
For instance
Linking Words
, my parents sent me to
school
Use synonyms
 at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 7, because at that time I was able to speak fluently and was intelligent enough to understand lectures.
Therefore
Linking Words
, constant supervision is essential for a child in his early days.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, older
children
Use synonyms
 have more confidence in interacting with others, they confidently express themselves to teachers if they have any doubts and answer confidently to any question asked.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as they are mature enough, the fear factor is less prevalent among them, and they are always excited to reach
school
Use synonyms
 and have fun. In conclusion, the idea of sending kids to
school
Use synonyms
 early seems unrealistic, and it would be better to send them at a later
age
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay meets the task requirements well, providing a balanced discussion of both views and culminating in a clear opinion. However, ensure your position is consistently clear throughout the essay, reinforcing it in the body paragraphs as well as the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on using more varied linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your writing flow more naturally.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by clearly stating the topic and presenting a thesis statement that indicates your stance.
supported main points
You have provided relevant examples that support your main points, helping to illustrate your arguments effectively.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: