It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is important to make some risky moves in
career
Correct pronoun usage
your career
as well as
in Linking Words
personal
life. Correct pronoun usage
your personal
Although
Linking Words
this
may harm a person in the short term, it allows them to create new Linking Words
opportunities
and I believe Use synonyms
this
advantage far outweighs any potential disadvantages.
Making a risky move may hurt a person short term. Take, Linking Words
for example
, adults who are psychologically controlled by their parents because they still receive financial support from them. If they stop relying on their parents so that they can be free to go after their dreams, they may face the short-term downside of losing the comfort their parents’ money provides. The same can be true for making a career change that involves a big pay cut. Linking Words
However
, I do not think that a short-term sacrifice should be seen as a major disadvantage in life because it can pay off greatly in the long run.
On the positive side, risks bring Linking Words
opportunities
. Use synonyms
For instance
, if Priscilla Chan’s grandparents hadn’t been courageous enough to move to the US from Vietnam, Chan wouldn’t have had the opportunity to study at Harvard, let alone meet and marry Mark Zuckerberg. If Mark Zuckerberg hadn’t dropped out of Harvard to focus on building Facebook, it could have probably been another platform, rather than Facebook, that became the world’s biggest social media giant. I think that Linking Words
opportunities
like these are extremely important because they can be life-changing.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
taking risks may harm people in the short term, I believe Linking Words
this
downside is greatly outweighed by the upside that the risks they take can create life-changing Linking Words
opportunities
for them.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Consider strengthening the logical structure by having clearer paragraph transitions. This can help guide the reader through your arguments seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is well-organized, making the links between ideas within paragraphs more explicit can enhance readability.
task achievement
All main points are well-supported, but including a more varied range of examples might demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay presents a thorough response to the task, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.
task achievement
The essay uses relevant and specific examples to support its points, such as the stories of Priscilla Chan and Mark Zuckerberg.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effective, providing a strong framework for the discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.