Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some

individuals

are convicted of

punishment

due to

the

crime

that has been done

Change preposition

show examples

them and

then

still commit more crimes. In

this

essay, the reasons and solutions which might help to reduce

this

problem will be discussed.

To begin

with,

people

becoming more and more brave after doing the same thing all over again. By repeating something

people

will be more master in the job they work, and

this

can lead them to get used to it. occupations,

such

as business owners can significantly reduce the salaries of blue-collar by making mistakes.

In addition

, being punished for the first time is always the hardest as

individuals

never know what would happen after or how bad the

punishment

is going to be.

However

, first-time

punishment

is always the hardest for

individuals

and as the

punishment

increases it will be useless. The most convenient and simplest way for the state is to punish offenders harder and make

people

not think of any

crime

in the first place.

For instance

, more crimes need to be life imprisonment in

this

case no one would even think of any

crime

. In conclusion, repeating the

crime

makes

people

braver and always the first

punishment

is the most effective the rest

individuals

would get used to it.

Submitted by amir.lajevardi84 on Tue Jul 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Develop your arguments with more specific examples and clearer explanations. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving transitions between ideas to ensure that the essay flows smoothly. It will help in maintaining a logical progression throughout your writing.

coherence cohesion

Try to avoid repetition of the same point in different words. Instead, focus on providing new insights or supporting details to expand your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion effectively.

task achievement

You addressed both parts of the prompt by discussing reasons for repeat offenses and suggesting measures to mitigate them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

212 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
rehabilitation programs
social stigma
ex-convicts
reintegration
support systems
mental health issues
addiction problems
criminal networks
incarceration

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Nowadays, we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can government do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?
Today,many cities around the world face an increasing amount of garbage produced by citizens.In this essay,I will attempt to investigate the causes of this and also find some solutions for this.
5.5
band
Write about the following topic: “Do you think extra-curricular activities are important in a student’s life?” Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Whether extracurricular works play an integral part in students' life is a worthy concern in this 4.0 era. I completely agree with the prejudice above. The reasons along with examples will be illustrated in the upcoming essay.
7
band
In today's digital age, the widespread use of social media has become an integral part of society. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon. To what extent do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks? Provide relevant examples and support your arguments with evidence
Social media has seamlessly integrated into our daily lives, becoming an indispensable aspect of contemporary existence. While fostering global connectivity and providing a lucrative platform for entrepreneurs, social media is not without its drawbacks, including the dissemination of misinformation and potential time-wasting tendencies. This essay contends that, despite these challenges, the advantages of social media significantly outweigh its disadvantages.
5.5
band
Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive and negative impact on society?
The development in AI and robots fields are altering almost work of humans in most big companies. It is the writer of this essay who contends that this is an adverse influence in the near future due to the significant changes in the amount of jobless people in all fields.
5.5
band
Nowsday, a growing number of people with health problems are trying to alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?
An increasing number of individuals suffering from illnesses are opting for alternative treatments rather than seeking a certified doctor. I believe that this is a negative development as people might falsely diagnose themself and they cannot guarantee the medicine's compounds are safe to consume.

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can government do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

Write about the following topic: “Do you think extra-curricular activities are important in a student’s life?” Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In today's digital age, the widespread use of social media has become an integral part of society. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon. To what extent do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks? Provide relevant examples and support your arguments with evidence

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive and negative impact on society?

Nowsday, a growing number of people with health problems are trying to alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?