IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words.

#plans #show #harbour #summarise #information #features #comparisons #report
The given plans indicate the harbour in 2000 and it looks like today.
Overall
, the Port Harbour underwent a significant change. In 2000, Porth Harbour had a Main
Road
 on the west and a
Road
 on the south which is connected with the Main
Road
. There were
two
car
 parks which were joined by
two
 roads. Around the
car
 park, on the northwest, there were showers and toilets and a marina which were private yachts. Next to the
car
 park, on the southeast, there were fishing boats. The public
beach
 was located on the northeast with a dock and passenger ferries. On the southeast, the castle was built with a lifeboat and a public
beach
 around it but
this
 castle was disused. Today, Main
Road
,
car
 park,
Road
, showers and toilets, public
beach
, passenger ferries, and lifeboats do not change their positions. Between
two
car
 parks, they add showers and toilets.
In addition
, both the
car
 parks are access the Main
Road
.
Besides
, fishing boats and marinas are exchange positions. The dock is divided into
two
.
Moreover
, in the space on the north of the
Road
, there is the appearance of cafes and shops.
Furthermore
, the castle is removed and a hotel is constructed, so the public
beach
 is converted to the private
beach
 which is used for the hotel.
Submitted by duongntt.tld on

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task achievement
Your essay does well in summarizing the main changes between the two plans and attempts to provide a comparison. However, there are instances where the sentence structure can be improved for clarity. For example, 'In 2000, Porth Harbour had a Main Road on the west and a Road on the south which is connected with the Main Road' can be more clearly written as 'In 2000, Porth Harbour had a Main Road to the west and a southern road that connected to it.'
coherence cohesion
Although you provide a good overview, the details could be better organized to present a clearer contrast between the past and present. The addition of a more structured introduction and concluding statement would help enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay successfully identifies and describes the main features and changes in the harbour. This shows a good grasp of the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay is cohesive as it maintains a clear focus on describing the changes to the harbour. Each paragraph generally builds on the previous one effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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