the continued rise in the world'S POPULATION IS tHE GREATEST PROBLEM FACED BY HUMANITY AT THE PRESENT TIME. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS CONTINUED RISE? DO YOU AGREE THAT IT IS THE GREATEST PROBLEM FACED BY HUMANITY?

#rise #world #population #humanity #time

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Nowadays, the major issue frustrated by society is our population on Earth which is continued growth.

while

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the main reason for

this

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situation is medical breakthroughs, it turned into the main dilemma of humanity’s ways. One of the causes of

this

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continued rice is the medical development that leads to lower mortality rates. Individuals’ illnesses can both be identified and treated.

For instance

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while

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in the

last

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centuries there used to not be improved medicine that caused

a higher cases

Correct the article-noun agreement

higher cases

a higher case

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of death, it has progressed to

such

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a level that allows us to not only recognize but

also

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cure it.

Therefore

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, changes in medicine provide significant differences in boredom and death.

On the contrary

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, it is the main problem, since it causes irreparable damage not only to society but

also

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to the Earth’s resources. There would be more demand for food, healthcare and housing

as well as

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fossil fuel and water. And all that consumption contributes to ecological degradation, increased conflicts, and a higher risk of large-scale disasters like pandemics.

For instance

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, when COVID-19 was first noticed in China (the second overpopulated country

around

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the world) the government

was not be

Change the verb form

was not

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able to cope with

such

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a huge amount of inhabitants which

lead

Wrong verb form

led

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to the death of hundreds of people. In conclusion, I believe that today overpopulation is one of the hottest topics and lack of balance between mortality rates and

boring

Replace the word

boredom

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is the cause. If governments do not take action, all monopolies

would

Wrong verb form

will

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have similar issues like India or China.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Tue Jul 30 2024

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grammar

Work on refining your grammar and sentence structure to ensure clarity and precision. For example, phrases like 'our population on Earth which is continued growth' can be rephrased for better comprehension.

content

More specific examples and statistics would strengthen your argument. For instance, including numerical data about population growth or healthcare advancements can make your points more compelling.

structure

Improve transitions between points to enhance the flow of the essay. Using linking words and phrases can help guide the reader more smoothly through your argument.

introduction

The introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on it, which is crucial for setting up the context of the essay.

conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion, providing a coherent closure to the essay.

content

Your essay touches on significant aspects of the issue, such as medical advancements and resource depletion, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

250 words

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the continued rise in the world'S POPULATION IS tHE GREATEST PROBLEM FACED BY HUMANITY AT THE PRESENT TIME. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS CONTINUED RISE? DO YOU AGREE THAT IT IS THE GREATEST PROBLEM FACED BY HUMANITY?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give you opinion.

Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, while others think we can use as much water as we want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

museums and ar galleries shuld concentrate on local works rather than showing the culture or artworks from other countries. Agree or disagree

Nowadays getting a job is becoming harder in poor countries leading to a rise in unemployment. Some people believe that pupils should only be allowed to access primary education while others believe that secondary education is necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?