IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The quality of health care a person receives should not depend on the size of their bank balance. The government is responsible for providing a high level of health care for all its citizens. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world, growing daily, demand for healthcare services is mounting the costs of hospital assistance. And I believe that the state plays a crucial role in providing affordable medical facilities. For the reason that public well-being has its own economic benefits and must be a key priority for the local authorities A healthy population is essential for a strong and thriving economy. Providing high-level healthcare can help prevent and reduce the burden of disease, improve productivity, and lower treatment costs in the long run.
For instance
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 , Japanese citizens get medical facilities, ensured by the country’s administration, and they are considered one of the most employable nations in the world.
Therefore
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,
this
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 makes it clear that the public in good physical condition is the main part of the economy in each country. The government has a responsibility to protect and promote the well-being of its citizens. Coming up with high-level hospital assistance is essential for maintaining the
overall
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 fitness of the population. As an example, in response to the COVID-19 pandemic, prioritizing public health, governments around the world have taken swift action to implement public health measures
such
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 as lockdowns, testing, contact tracing, and vaccination campaigns.
Thus
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this
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become
Change the verb form
becomes
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 apparent that the country's citizens have been able to be protected only by the efforts of the government.
To sum up
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, access to quality medical treatment is a basic human right, and economic benefits are mostly attributed to the
overall
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 well-being and productivity of the society regardless of their financial situation. In the future, it is predicted that the government will pay more attention to national health.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction clearly sets the stage for the topic and includes a concise thesis statement reflecting your stance.
logical structure
Create smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance cohesion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Delve deeper into examples and explanations to fully substantiate your arguments.
supported main points
The essay provides relevant examples to support the arguments presented, such as the case of Japanese citizens and the government's response to COVID-19.
complete response
The essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing the government's role in providing healthcare and its economic benefits.
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