Many people say that we have developed into a “throw-away” culture, because we are filling up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of. To what extent do you agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend reducing this problem ?
Nowadays, many
people
are taking out their garbage on the streets and this
leads to environmental pollution
. I strongly agree with that and this
essay is going to examine solutions to this
problem.
Since the industrial revolution, the pollution
of the world has already increased. For example
, if we look at our oceans , we can obviously see accumulated trash. İn addition, some people
do not have responsibility for nature because people
who are not educated have already caused to
Change preposition
apply
pollution
of the environment. The most important reason for the throw-away culture is the lack of education.
Some groups of people
do not care about nature because they do not have enough level of education thereby that
Correct word choice
which
people
can lead to all kinds of pollution
. For instance
, according to
one research several people
do not yet realize the amount of pollution
damage. Moreover
, ıf we can not take a measure , this
problem will be increased
within the next decades thereby we can not leave a protected natural area for posterity.
Wrong verb form
increase
Finally
, governments must make new legislation about preventing rubbish such
as they can give penalties to people
who are causing environmental pollution
USE SYNONYMS
abusecorruptiondeteriorationinfection
It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
furthermore
, we should educate our students when they start school because the pollution
usually comes from the
illiterate Correct article usage
apply
people
. Besides
, policymakers should build attractive trash-cash
in order for to Correct your spelling
trash cash
people
be more liable towards natural habitats. Also
, associations that have susceptibility can deal with this
issue.
To conclude
, one of the most effective methods of forestalling this
problem is having more educated people
, on the conditional
that we can preserve our planet.Replace the word
condition
Submitted by kickbox191 on
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Complete Response
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a relevant discussion on the topic of 'throw-away' culture. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and some points need further elaboration. Try to provide more concrete examples and detailed explanations to fully support your arguments.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
The essay presents clear ideas, but there are some areas where the argument could be more comprehensive. For instance, discussing specific measures in detail – such as particular educational programs or legislative actions – would strengthen your points.
Relevant Specific Examples
While your essay contains some examples, they tend to be general rather than specific. Providing specific studies or real-world instances would make your argument more convincing.
Logical Structure
Your essay has a reasonable structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but it could be more logically organized. For instance, you might present problems in one paragraph and solutions in the next. Clear separation of ideas would improve readability.
Introduction Conclusion Present
The essay has an introduction that presents the issue and a conclusion that summarizes the points made, which is good. However, both could be more robust. A more engaging introduction and a stronger, more conclusive ending would enhance your essay.
Supported Main Points
The essay touches on several main points but lacks detailed support. Providing more evidence and examples when discussing the impact of pollution and the importance of education would strongly enhance your argument.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Your essay demonstrates a commitment to the topic and provides a clear stance on the issue, which is crucial for a high band score.
Varied Vocabulary
You used synonyms to avoid repetition, which positively impacts your lexical resource score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.