IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows changes in modes of transport chosen by travellers in a European country from 1950 to 1990. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.ะน

The diagram below shows changes in modes of transport chosen by travellers in a European country from 1950 to 1990. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.ะน
#changes #modes #transport #travellers #european #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart indicates
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
changes in
Correct article usage
the catergories
show examples
catergories
Correct your spelling
categories
 of transport in Europe by
traveller
Fix the agreement mistake
travellers
show examples
 between 1950 and 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear to see that number of peoples who chosen
travel
Use synonyms
 by
foot
Use synonyms
 is dropped when compear with a year before.
However
Linking Words
,
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 of travellers who
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 is
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
rise in
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
 every
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
, rates of increase and decrease are so similar.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 year
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1950
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the foot
show examples
foot
Correct article usage
the foot
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
poppular choise
Correct your spelling
popular choice
 of travellers about 40% of visitors. On the
Correct your spelling
contrary
contary
Add a comma
contary,
show examples
 just only 5% of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 chose
Fix the infinitive
to travels
show examples
travels
Correct subject-verb agreement
travel
show examples
 by
car
Use synonyms
. But in 1970
travel
Use synonyms
 by
car
Use synonyms
 is more famous with the approxiemately 25% of the tourist standard and the rate of European tourists choosing to
travel
Use synonyms
 by
foot
Use synonyms
 has fall slightly. The
larges
Correct your spelling
largest
show examples
 chance is in
1990
Change the article
the 1990
show examples
 year,
travel
Use synonyms
 by
car
Use synonyms
 is
in
Correct quantifier usage
more in
show examples
 demand than
other
Correct quantifier usage
any other
show examples
choice
Change the wording
choices
show examples
 with around 41% of visitors
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 it
Linking Words
on
Add the comma(s)
, on
show examples
 the other hand,
scale
Add an article
the scale
show examples
 of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who selected
travel
Use synonyms
 by
foot
Use synonyms
 is only 6%.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, in 1950 several of tourists
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
picked
Fix the infinitive
to travels
show examples
travels
Correct subject-verb agreement
travel
show examples
 by bike is more than
Use synonyms
bus
Change preposition
by bus
show examples
 is close to 30% and
average
Add an article
an average
the average
show examples
 of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
Use synonyms
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
 only 18%. In 1970 with many raesons of travelers 26% of them pick
bus
Use synonyms
 to travels so that's more than other.
Moreover
Linking Words
, figure of 1990,
bus
Use synonyms
 it was chosen second in number when compared to
car
Use synonyms
 approxiemately 16%
while
Linking Words
 number of bike is lower than other with 5%.
Submitted by np.napatping on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words travel, foot, car, bus with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: