IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
Village inhabitants are deciding to relocate
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 cities in different nations around the globe, which lowers the number of rural inhabitants.
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 think
this
 is a negative evolution because of
Correct article usage
the inceases
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inceases
Correct your spelling
increase
strian
Correct your spelling
strain
 on urban infrastructure and
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
 of rural traditions and culture.
To begin
 with,
due to
 rural-to-urban migration; an increased demand
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 more occupied space for housing and human facilities sources,
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
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lead
Replace the word
led
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 to more areas under construction and pressure on
city's
Correct article usage
the city's
show examples
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coherence cohesion
The essay requires a clearer structure. Ensure you have a proper introduction where the issue and your stance (positive or negative development) are clearly stated.
task achievement
Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. The second paragraph starts well but lacks proper development. Ensure each point is expanded with explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
Avoid off-topic or filler text. The middle section of the essay includes repetitive and irrelevant text, which detracts from coherence and readability.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. Use real-life situations or generalize logical scenarios. For example, you can discuss how migration affects employment opportunities both in cities and rural areas or how it impacts cultural practices.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay by summarizing the main points and restating your stance. A well-rounded conclusion leaves a strong impression.
task achievement
The essay topic is acknowledged, and an attempt is made to present a personal stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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