Many people likes to wear fashionable clothes Why do you think this is the case? Is this a good thing or bad thing?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

These days, the majority of individuals follow the mode and the latest style to show their social status. Indeed, globalization leads to

this

Linking Words

trend

that is

Linking Words

not a positive flow. Since

people

Use synonyms

should focus on their personality beauty rather than their appearance style. To commence with,

People

Use synonyms

portray their financial situation with the model of their garments and accessories. To illustrate more wearing some luxury brands

such

Linking Words

as Channel displays

level

Add an article

a level

the level

show examples

of wealth .The main reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

such

Linking Words

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

is the effect of social media sites and easy access of

people

Use synonyms

to the most recent data and news.

For example

Linking Words

, Juveniles could be informed about the celebrities’ style in

red

Add an article

the red

show examples

carpet award ceremony

Change preposition

show examples

the same time of holding

event

Add an article

an event

the event

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is predictable that

people

Use synonyms

imitate famous superstars’

dressing

Fix the agreement mistake

dresses

show examples

and make an effort to purchase expensive clothes to show their social standing. From my perspective,

this

Linking Words

is not a good trend. Since consumerism could have a negative effect on personality development.

While

Linking Words

the energy and time are limited, when youngsters concentrate on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

appearance ,

consequently

Linking Words

they will ignore human values. Unfortunately,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these days a lot of

people

Use synonyms

know Instagram influencers

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

but

show examples

they

Verb problem

are

show examples

not aware of their

scientists

Change noun form

scientist's

scientists'

show examples

names. Definitely attention to both appearance and inner should be in balance. In a nutshell,

due to

Linking Words

materialism and communication progress, chasing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fashion is popular. Human beings ignore a lot of vital and moral values to just make their manifestations attractive and updated.

May be

Correct your spelling

Maybe

show examples

it is time to change our shallow look

Change preposition

show examples

the world.

Submitted by zohmoz93 on Tue Jul 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

While the essay addresses the task and provides a response, the argument lacks some depth. Try to provide more supporting details and examples to fully illustrate your points.

task response

Avoid repetitions and work on diversifying vocabulary to improve clarity and effectiveness of your argument. This will also help to maintain the reader's interest throughout your essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph logically flows from one to the next using appropriate linking words and phrases to enhance coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Review your essay for minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues, to enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion effectively.

task response

The examples provided are relevant and help to illustrate the points being made.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

express individuality
boost confidence
self-esteem
social status
designer labels
cultural icons
art and creativity
financial strain
overspend
fast fashion
culture of waste
economic growth

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government universities.
Nowadays, new technology are being invested by government to serve community. This writer argues that they are enhancing quality of speech and the suitable way is that finacial of government being used resonably.
5.5
band
You and your family are living in rented accommodation in an English-speaking country. You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: . introduce yourself . explain what is wrong with the furniture . say what action you would like the landlord to take
My name is Hasan Ali. I have rented your 3 bedroom apartment on Oxord Street. I am writing you this letter to express my dissatisfaction over the furniture provided by you. I moved in 36-A, Charleston Street in July 2000 and since then there is a constatnt cycle of something or the other going wrong.
5
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decresing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Presently, it is undeniable that the increasing of rural residents migrates to a thriving cities, which causes a reduction of population in the countryside occuring in majority countries. This statement offers merit and disadvantage development to society. In my perspective, the advantages witness outweigh the drawbacks, which will be examined in this essay.
5.5
band
Write an essay discussing two of these factors, Getting the right qualifications or having the right Contacts , lead to success in life in your notes. You should explain which factor is more important in achieving success, giving reasons to support your answer.
Success is something that many people aspire to achieve, but only few managed to succeed. People have new businesses ideas with promising future on paper, however most of those will never develop any further. There are different factors that could increase the probability for some of them to be successful. On this essay I will explore what could make a bigger impact in the way to success, if having the right qualification or the right contacts.
7.5
band
There have been many inventions in human history, such as the wheel. Some people think the most important invention is the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is undeniable that the Internet plays a crucial role in modern society, leading many to consider it the greatest invention in human civilization. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that there are other inventions that hold greater significance. I disagree with the notion that the Internet stands above all others.

Many people likes to wear fashionable clothes Why do you think this is the case? Is this a good thing or bad thing?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government universities.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decresing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Write an essay discussing two of these factors, Getting the right qualifications or having the right Contacts , lead to success in life in your notes. You should explain which factor is more important in achieving success, giving reasons to support your answer.

There have been many inventions in human history, such as the wheel. Some people think the most important invention is the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?