Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree wih this statement?
It is true that we only see the
achivments
of sportspeople but does it mean that their Correct your spelling
achievements
achievement
behaviors
during their professional Change the spelling
behaviours
does
not matter and we should only focus on how good they play or their Change the verb form
do
behavior
matter and we should judge them not only by their performance but with the performance alongside their Change the spelling
behaviour
behaviors
?
Some may argue that playing well is the only significant matter in the life of a Change the spelling
behaviours
player
, however
, they fail to see the impact and influence these player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
have
on their fans Add the particle
to have
and
especially the younger generationCorrect word choice
apply
whom
, watching their Correct pronoun usage
apply
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
player
misbehaving may lead to them to do act in a way that maybe
wrong.
Correct your spelling
may be
In addition
to that , it is not only the fans that will suffer as each and every team
need
sponsors to finance them and Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
behavior
of athletes can well influence the reputation of a sponsor . Correct article usage
the behavior
As a result
of misbehaving players
the sponsors may be reluctant to Add a comma
players,
fiance
the Correct your spelling
finance
team
which will lead to huge losses for the sporting team
.
But it does not end here as most sports are team
-based and if just one player
is misbehaving can result in comminicatin
errors and even antagonize Correct your spelling
communication
communicating
players
towards their teammte
which surely will diminish the performance of a Correct your spelling
team
team
.
As these types of behaviors
become more common so will the legal actions against them. Most sports have some
strict laws that prohibit the Correct quantifier usage
apply
players
from the
actions Correct article usage
apply
not
in the sportsman spirit and Add the comma(s)
, not
players
that participate in these kind
of Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
behaviors
will be punished Change the spelling
behaviours
accordingly
and even may overshadow their achivements
.
Correct your spelling
achievements
To conclude
, ill behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
in
on or off the field should not be Change preposition
apply
tolarted
for it can Correct your spelling
tolerated
distrupt
the flow of a Correct your spelling
disrupt
team
, make it harder to find sponsors and even lead to legal actions against the players
.Submitted by parsaj1381 on
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task achievement
Try to elaborate a bit more on your examples to make your points even stronger. For instance, mention a well-known incident of a sports figure misbehaving and the consequences that followed. This will make your argument more concrete.
coherence cohesion
You can improve the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
general
Watch out for minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage. Proofreading your essay will help eliminate these small mistakes, making your essay more polished.
task achievement
The essay covers a broad range of arguments both for and against the misbehavior of professional athletes, which shows a good effort to provide a balanced response.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, successfully framing your essay and driving home your main points. This creates a strong first and last impression.
task achievement
You have included a variety of points to support your views, such as the influence on fans and the impact on team dynamics, which adds depth to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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