Some people believe that allowing children to make their own chocies on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some
people
believe that give
Wrong verb form
giving
children
permission for
make their own Change preposition
to
chocies
on daily subjects Correct your spelling
choices
is
generally Unnecessary verb
apply
result
turn into a selfish Correct subject-verb agreement
results
person
. Other Fix the agreement mistake
people
people
believe that allowing children
to make their own chocies
about Correct your spelling
choices
theirself
is important. Correct your spelling
their self
This
essay will examine both sides and explain what I thought.
On the one hand, it is important to raise confident children
for parents. İt can be provide
some free Change the verb form
provide
chocies
. Correct your spelling
choices
For example
, children
can be choose
what they Change the verb form
choose
are
wear or what they eat in daily life. Of Unnecessary verb
apply
course
it includes some risks. Young Add a comma
course,
children
tend to be eat
more Change the verb form
eat
sweats
and it may affect their Correct your spelling
sweets
healt
. Parents might Correct your spelling
health
be
some restrictions about Verb problem
have
children
Change noun form
children's
desicions
Correct your spelling
decisions
due to
their favor
. Some individuals believe that if there are no restrictions, Change the spelling
favour
children
might be selfish.
On the other hand
, some people
believe that children
make their own chocies
for important Correct your spelling
choices
subject
. Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
For instance
, children
should be choose
their school, their job, or their future plans Change the verb form
choose
theirself
. Correct your spelling
themselves
This
matters affect the child rather than Change the determiner
These
no one
else.
Correct your spelling
anyone
To sum up
, I believe that there must be balance
Correct article usage
a balance
for
Change preposition
between
two
options. Some restrictions and permission Correct article usage
the two
give
Wrong verb form
are given
the
Change preposition
to the
children
from
their parents. İt is important to raise Change preposition
by
confident
Add an article
a confident
the confident
child
and contribute population ofFix the agreement mistake
children
nonselfish
Correct your spelling
unselfish
people
.Submitted by bkardelenyilmazz on
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grammar
Ensure that your essay is free from grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Proofreading can help you catch common mistakes such as 'give children permission for make their own chocies' which should be 'giving children permission to make their own choices.'
vocabulary
Enhance your lexical range by including more varied vocabulary. Instead of repeating words like 'make their own choices,' try using synonyms or rephrasing to add variety.
idea development
Make sure that your arguments are well-developed and supported. For instance, in the second paragraph, you could add more details on how allowing children to make choices contributes to their development and confidence.
task response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is important for a balanced discussion.
introduction
The introduction sets the stage for the discussion by outlining both viewpoints.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and suggests a balanced approach.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite