In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

it is true that individuals are having their first child at an older age. There are various
reasons
for
this
, and it brings about many more drawbacks to society. There are two main
reasons
why
this
trend
is becoming more popular. The first contributing factor is
people
's financial situation. To illustrate, in
this
economic crisis era, the price of products and housing is increasing, and it is difficult to find a stable job with an appropriate income, so younger individuals tend to have a baby when their finances are stable.
Secondly
, it is the world's
trend
.
For example
, nowadays,
people
love to explore or travel,
also
they hate to carry a burden and choose to stay single.
However
, when they are tired from those adventures, they
then
decide to build a family.
This
trend
provides benefits and negatives to the society. The advantage of
this
approach would be that stress and pressure would no longer be observed for those
people
.
This
is because they do not have to work harder to feed their children and be responsible for extra expenses
such
as tuition fees.
Nonetheless
, there is
also
a negative side to
this
idea.
Firstly
, the elderly population in a particular country will increase.
For instance
, in Japan, the government's revenue is decreasing since the older
people
pay less tax. In conclusion, there are several
reasons
why
this
trend
is happening and it provides both pros and cons, but I firmly believe
that is
more about disadvantages than advantages for the aforementioned
reasons
.
Submitted by pandin21 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides reasons and examples. However, try to include more diverse and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but they would benefit from more detailed explanations and elaborations to fully develop them.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is mostly clear, but some parts could flow more smoothly. Consider using more transition words to enhance the coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This makes your arguments clearer and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument.
task achievement
The main points are generally well-supported and relevant to the topic.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Shift
  • Trend
  • Societal norms
  • Education and career
  • Financial stability
  • Reproductive technologies
  • Delayed marriages
  • Parenting responsibilities
  • Life expectancy
  • Family planning
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