In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
it is true that individuals are having their first child at an older age. There are various
reasons
for Use synonyms
this
, and it brings about many more drawbacks to society.
There are two main Linking Words
reasons
why Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
trend
is becoming more popular. The first contributing factor is Use synonyms
people
's financial situation. To illustrate, in Use synonyms
this
economic crisis era, the price of products and housing is increasing, and it is difficult to find a stable job with an appropriate income, so younger individuals tend to have a baby when their finances are stable. Linking Words
Secondly
, it is the world's Linking Words
trend
. Use synonyms
For example
, nowadays, Linking Words
people
love to explore or travel, Use synonyms
also
they hate to carry a burden and choose to stay single. Linking Words
However
, when they are tired from those adventures, they Linking Words
then
decide to build a family.
Linking Words
This
Linking Words
trend
provides benefits and negatives to the society. The advantage of Use synonyms
this
approach would be that stress and pressure would no longer be observed for those Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
This
is because they do not have to work harder to feed their children and be responsible for extra expenses Linking Words
such
as tuition fees. Linking Words
Nonetheless
, there is Linking Words
also
a negative side to Linking Words
this
idea. Linking Words
Firstly
, the elderly population in a particular country will increase. Linking Words
For instance
, in Japan, the government's revenue is decreasing since the older Linking Words
people
pay less tax.
In conclusion, there are several Use synonyms
reasons
why Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
trend
is happening and it provides both pros and cons, but I firmly believe Use synonyms
that is
more about disadvantages than advantages for the aforementioned Linking Words
reasons
.Use synonyms
Submitted by pandin21 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides reasons and examples. However, try to include more diverse and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but they would benefit from more detailed explanations and elaborations to fully develop them.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is mostly clear, but some parts could flow more smoothly. Consider using more transition words to enhance the coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This makes your arguments clearer and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument.
task achievement
The main points are generally well-supported and relevant to the topic.