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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of international applicants to the universities of one European country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the number of international applicants to the universities of one European country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#applicants #universities #european #country #information #features #comparisons
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The provided bar chart depicts the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of global
applicants
 from 4 countries (
USA
,
China
,
Russia
 and
Japan
) to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one European country's
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
throughout
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2004 to 2008.
Overall
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
Japan
 increased their number of
applicants
 in general.
China
's
applicants
 diminished between these years
while
Russia
 had some fluctuations. In 2004,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
applicants
 were from
China
 with more than 25.000
while
 other 3
country's
Change noun form
countries
show examples
 the total number of
applicants
 was lower than approximately 23.000. In 2005,
China
 and
Russia
 decreased,
China
 to around 22.000 and
Russia
 diminished to approximately 1.000.
However
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 increased
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
applicants
 to 15.000
while
Japan
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
last
 year
like
Change preposition
at
show examples
 7.000. In 2006,
China
 and
USA
 had the same amount of
applicants
 with around 17.000.
Japan
 slightly increased to 7.000.
Russia
 stayed constant. In 2007,
Correct article usage
the Usa
show examples
Usa
Correct your spelling
USA
 took the lead from
China
 with more than 20.000 after
China
 which stayed same as same as
Russia
.
Also
,
Japan
 continued to their
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 increase too. In 2008,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
enhanced
Verb problem
increased
show examples
 to more than 25.000
applicants
.
Japan
 and
Russia
 rose gradually in 2008.
Russia
 increased to approximately 3.000
while
Japan
 rose to 10.000.
Nevertheless
,
China
 declined in 2008 to 15.000.
Submitted by taylanpolat6124 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words applicants, usa, china, russia, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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