Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #opportunity

It is a subject of discussion that few

people

believe that being rich provides an

oppotunity

Correct your spelling

opportunity

to help other

people

. I

certaintly

Correct your spelling

certainly

agreed with the statement but not every rich

person

is doing so. There are

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of rich

people

in every country, but every rich

person

is not helping out the poor

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. Let's take

Correct article usage

the

show examples

example of Mukesh Ambani. He is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Asia

Change noun form

Asia's

show examples

richest

person

and spent 16 billion dollars on his son's wedding. In

this

case scenario, I believe he could use

this

money to alleviate hunger amongst the

poorer

Replace the word

poor

show examples

Correct word choice

and jobs

show examples

jobs

Fix the agreement mistake

job

show examples

oppotunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

can be provided,

instead

Add a comma

instead,

show examples

Mukesh invited

celebrity

Fix the agreement mistake

celebrities

show examples

from around the world in order to have

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

marriage for his son.

On the other hand

, Ratan Tata who is a billionaire

spending

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

enourmous

Correct your spelling

enormous

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

of money on poor

people

funding

Wrong verb form

funded

show examples

various charitable

trust

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trusts

show examples

promoting

Wrong verb form

promoted

show examples

education among girls,

improving

Wrong verb form

improved

show examples

health care

facilites

Correct your spelling

facilities

infrastructure

Correct word choice

and infrastructure

show examples

, and

builded

Correct your spelling

built

show examples

a charitable hospital for cancer patients. His hospital reduces

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

for individuals who can not

Change the verb form

afford

show examples

affords

Correct pronoun usage

affords them

show examples

, in some cases

this fees

Change the determiner

this fee

these fees

show examples

can be

waved

Correct your spelling

waived

show examples

This

kind of example

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

a positive

experince

Correct your spelling

experience

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

learn

Correct subject-verb agreement

learns

show examples

and

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

through examples. In conclusion, certainly having a million in bank accounts gives an

opportuniyt

Correct your spelling

opportunity

but it

depend

Change the verb form

depends

show examples

person

wheather

Correct your spelling

whether

they

wants

Change the verb form

want

show examples

to help other

people

. No one can force them to do something for marginalized

people

. We should not expect them to help but it is a moral duty to do something good for

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

Submitted by ali695313 on Wed Jul 31 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the task but would benefit from more in-depth analysis and development of ideas. Consider expanding on your points and providing more detailed examples or discussing counterarguments.

coherence cohesion

Although the essay is generally coherent, it would benefit from a clearer organizational structure. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that transitions between paragraphs are smooth and logical.

task achievement

You’ve provided specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your argument nicely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealthy
financial resources
philanthropy
charitable organizations
donations
fundraising
support
initiatives
contribute
fulfillment
purpose
selfless
altruistic
prioritize
personal gain

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Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.