In the modern world, schools are no longer necessary because there is so much information available through the internet that children can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
contemporary era, it is argued that children can continue studying home
and educational institutions are no longer necessary because of the vast information Change preposition
at home
availability
Replace the word
available
in
the internet. I completely Change preposition
on
disagreee
with Correct your spelling
disagree
disagreed
this
statement because, of the misleading information available on internet
which Add an article
the internet
cause
them distraction and children must experience Change the verb form
causes
the
Correct article usage
apply
colloborative
learning for their future endeavours.
In conclusion, I wholeheartedly disagree that schools will ever replaced with home studies Correct your spelling
collaborative
due to
the internet boom. Because it lacks the teaching of concentrated studies among students and also
it make
the young minds to miss the Change the verb form
makes
oppotunity
of learning via groups which Correct your spelling
opportunity
is
necessary for them to tackle the real world once they attain their adult age.Change the verb form
are
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task response
The essay provides a clear statement of your position, but more reasons and examples are needed. Try to incorporate additional arguments to support your disagreement with the idea that schools are no longer necessary.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented in the essay are somewhat clear, but there are issues with grammar and spelling that might make some parts difficult to understand. Reviewing and refining your grammar, spelling, and word choice will help improve clarity.
relevant specific examples
The main points in the essay aren't fully supported with specific examples or evidence. Including more detailed examples would strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
logical structure
There is a logical structure, but the organization can be improved. The essay jumps from idea to idea without fully developing each one. Ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and follows a logical order will increase coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The essay needs a more substantial introduction and conclusion. The introduction should introduce the main idea more thoroughly, and the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the thesis more clearly.
logical structure
Ensure that all points made in your essay are linked logically with appropriate transition devices. This will enhance the flow and help the reader follow your argument more easily.
introduction conclusion present
You have clearly stated your position at the beginning and at the end of the essay.
task response
Your essay contains important points about the importance of collaboration and accurate information, which are relevant to the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite