IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that fashion affects our lives in a negative way however others say that it has more positive effects on our life discuss and give your opinion??

#people #fashion #lives #effects #life
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In
this
 contemporary era, a huge change in fashion sense
have
Change the verb form
has
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 been noted.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
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 been argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it will affect the lives of people in
negative
Change the article
a negative
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 way
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 believe it has benefits. In my opinion, dressing sense in today's world has both, merits and demerits.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand,
way
Correct article usage
the way
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 of clothing makes a person confident and attractive. They are able to go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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expensive and branded places with confidence, even, they earn lots of respect when entering any multinational company. To
exemplift
Correct your spelling
exemplify
, if a person wears formal on the day of
interview
Add an article
the interview
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, it gives an impression towards the interviewer and the interviewee
also
 remains confident
while
 giving answers.
Hence
, dressing sense builds
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
confidence which
is
Verb problem
has
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 a positive effect.
On the other hand
, designers are making strange designs which are difficult to carry
in
Change preposition
to
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 social gatherings,
on
Change preposition
for
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 which they are charging a huge amount. Masses are attracted towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
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famous personalities and adapt the way they
are dressing
Wrong verb form
dress
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 and spend
massive
Add an article
a massive
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mount
Correct your spelling
amount
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 of money. To exemplify,
perrsonalities
Correct your spelling
personalities
 who went to
Met
Correct article usage
the Met
show examples
 Gala, wore expensive dresses after which people tried to buy and wear .
Therefore
, designer clothing has made
difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
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 for
this
 generation to wear a dress.
To conclude
, the change in fashion has both benefits and drawbacks. There are many kinds of dresses in the market which
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 the individual to enhance their
personaility
Correct your spelling
personality
 and be confident socially
while
 on the downside, it
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 led to many fashion designers in the market who make
Correct pronoun usage
it hard
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hard to wear
Add a hyphen
hard-to-wear
show examples
 and carry dresses which
costs
Wrong verb form
cost
show examples
 them a lot.
Submitted by sandip.princess on

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improvement
Ensure to proofread for grammar and spelling errors. For instance, 'Its been argued' should be 'It has been argued' and 'to exemplift' should be 'to exemplify'.
improvement
Provide more relevant specific examples to support your points, such as mentioning specific studies or statistics.
improvement
Try to elaborate your points with more details. This will help in achieving a higher score for task achievement and coherence.
improvement
Work on sentence variety and use of complex structures to enhance readability and interest.
strength
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, effectively summarizing the main points.
strength
The essay covers both positive and negative effects of fashion in a balanced manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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