The diagram below show the production of a lead pencil.

The diagram illustrates the manufacturing

process

Use synonyms

of t a graphite pencil.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that there are several stages of the

process

Use synonyms

, which start with planting trees and finish with stamping pencils and ready for the customers.

Firstly

Linking Words

, small trees replanted after 4 months and waited 3 years before they grew up. After 14 years, when trees are thinned they are ready to cut down . After that, the wood is ready for the manufacturing

process

Use synonyms

. The

process

Use synonyms

starts with slicing wood into thin slats. After treating a slat for about 60 days a black lead is glued to the groove. Following that, a new slat is put down to the groove and made into a sandwich material.

This

Linking Words

sandwich is hard-pressed and the heating

process

Use synonyms

is started.

Consequently

Linking Words

, after the heating the pencil is cut as a stick,

then

Linking Words

it is painted,sharpened

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

stamped and put into the box.

Finally

Linking Words

, the pencil is ready for sale.

janmuldayevaa1

Jul 31, 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words process with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

159 words

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The diagram below show the production of a lead pencil.

Schools should stop using books for teaching children as they find them.boring and use films tv and computer instead . to what extent do you agree and disagree?

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justifed while others think it is unfair.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?