Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is believed by some
people
that governments should spend money
looking for aliens
. On the contrary
, many of them think that there are a lot of problems to solve in this
world and that the money
spent on aliens
is nothing but waste. However
, this
essay will argue why authorities should continue looking for life on other planets.
On one hand, our planet
is vulnerable for many reasons. Firstly
, the tectonic plates are in a position that could generate massive vibration on land. Hence
, millions of people
might die without any prior preparation as earthquakes are unpredictable. For instance
, a scientific study predicted that within 100 years of time, our planet
could face multiple severe earthquakes that could kill billions of people
. Secondly
, the sea level of the earth is rising because of climate change. Therefore
, many cities and villages might go underwater in the upcoming years. For
this
reason, developed countries have started investing money
in different scientific organizations, e.g. NASA, to search for life on other planets in Correct article usage
the Milkyway
Milkyway
to fight Correct your spelling
Milky Way
this
crisis.
On the other hand
, millions of people
in underdeveloped nations are dying because of the lack of proper nutrition and acute diseases. It is mainly because these countries are overpopulated. Therefore
, some people
argue that authorities should pay more attention to solving these issues. For example
, a study found in Africa that more than 25% of newborn children die because of a lack of vaccinations in the early stage
. Another study predicted that most Fix the agreement mistake
stages
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Asian countries will go underwater if there are no proper steps to fight climate change. Correct article usage
apply
Hence
, some argue that more public money
is needed to fight this
humanitarian crisis rather than on aliens
.
While
it is true that we need to solve tonnes of Earth
problems, at the same time, we have to explore other parts of the Change noun form
Earth's
planet
. It is because, if our planet
is destroyed by an earthquake or by other planetary collision, we need to survive. Without exploring other habitats, all other efforts to solve the earth's problems only might go in vain.
In conclusion, while
it is necessary to spend the budget on improving people
's lives, I believe it is more logical to budget our money
to find aliens
for the ultimate betterment of the human population.Submitted by niloyirtisam on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear, logical structure that contributes to reader understanding. It would be beneficial to refine your topic sentences to more explicitly summarize each main point.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively included an introduction and a conclusion. Ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes key arguments presented in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are generally supported, further development and more specific examples in body paragraphs would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your response is complete and covers both perspectives effectively. To achieve a higher score, ensure that each point is equally balanced and directly addresses the prompt.
task achievement
Ideas are generally clear and comprehensive. Enhance clarity by ensuring each paragraph has a single, distinct focus, and transitions between ideas are smooth and logical.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant and specific examples which support your argument. Including a wider variety of examples and integrating them seamlessly would be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure that aids clarity and understanding.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, which provides a good frame for your essay.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion, covering both perspectives on the issue.
task achievement
Relevant examples are included, which helps to support your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example