Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is believed by some
people
that governments should spend
money
looking for
aliens
.
On the contrary
, many of them think that there are a lot of problems to solve in
this
world and that the
money
spent on
aliens
is nothing but waste.
However
,
this
essay will argue why authorities should continue looking for life on other planets. On one hand, our
planet
is vulnerable for many reasons.
Firstly
, the tectonic plates are in a position that could generate massive vibration on land.
Hence
, millions of
people
might die without any prior preparation as earthquakes are unpredictable.
For instance
, a scientific study predicted that within 100 years of time, our
planet
could face multiple severe earthquakes that could kill billions of
people
.
Secondly
, the sea level of the earth is rising because of climate change.
Therefore
, many cities and villages might go underwater in the upcoming years.
For
this
reason, developed countries have started investing
money
in different scientific organizations, e.g. NASA, to search for life on other planets in
Correct article usage
the Milkyway
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Milkyway
Correct your spelling
Milky Way
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to fight
this
crisis.
On the other hand
, millions of
people
in underdeveloped nations are dying because of the lack of proper nutrition and acute diseases. It is mainly because these countries are overpopulated.
Therefore
, some
people
argue that authorities should pay more attention to solving these issues.
For example
, a study found in Africa that more than 25% of newborn children die because of a lack of vaccinations in the early
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
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. Another study predicted that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Asian countries will go underwater if there are no proper steps to fight climate change.
Hence
, some argue that more public
money
is needed to fight
this
humanitarian crisis rather than on
aliens
.
While
it is true that we need to solve tonnes of
Earth
Change noun form
Earth's
show examples
problems, at the same time, we have to explore other parts of the
planet
. It is because, if our
planet
is destroyed by an earthquake or by other planetary collision, we need to survive. Without exploring other habitats, all other efforts to solve the earth's problems only might go in vain. In conclusion,
while
it is necessary to spend the budget on improving
people
's lives, I believe it is more logical to budget our
money
to find
aliens
for the ultimate betterment of the human population.
Submitted by niloyirtisam on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear, logical structure that contributes to reader understanding. It would be beneficial to refine your topic sentences to more explicitly summarize each main point.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively included an introduction and a conclusion. Ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes key arguments presented in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are generally supported, further development and more specific examples in body paragraphs would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your response is complete and covers both perspectives effectively. To achieve a higher score, ensure that each point is equally balanced and directly addresses the prompt.
task achievement
Ideas are generally clear and comprehensive. Enhance clarity by ensuring each paragraph has a single, distinct focus, and transitions between ideas are smooth and logical.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant and specific examples which support your argument. Including a wider variety of examples and integrating them seamlessly would be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure that aids clarity and understanding.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, which provides a good frame for your essay.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion, covering both perspectives on the issue.
task achievement
Relevant examples are included, which helps to support your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented opportunities
  • extraterrestrial
  • satisfy human curiosity
  • practical benefits
  • inspiring goal
  • testament to human ambition
  • pursuit of knowledge
  • critics argue
  • imprudent
  • plague Earth
  • immediate attention
  • allocated for
  • environmental conservation
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • advancements
  • benefits for humanity
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