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Many children today spend a lot of time on social media which hurts their grades. what is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this ?

#children #time #media #grades
Nowadays,
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
 number of kids
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 being involved
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 wasting
time
 on social
media
, and
this
 can lead to problems at school.
This
 essay will discuss the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 kind of
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
 and propose possible solutions to avoid them.
To begin
 with, the main causes of spending
time
 on social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 is that almost every child
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
access to the
internet
 and there
less
Add a missing verb
is less
show examples
 control from
parents
. A growing number of
aviability
Correct your spelling
availability
 of technological devices lead
children
 to less concentration on their studies and
rapid
Change the word
rapidly
show examples
 drop their grades. Because of
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 they can miss some important lessons at school. What is more, today, a lot of families
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 modern family
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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,
hence
,
parents
 might give
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
children
 more freedom and do not monitor how much
time
 their
children
 spend
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
media
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 the best way to solve
this
 type of
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 is to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not give access to
children
 to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 young age and add some restrictions for
children
 like “
parents
Replace the word
parental
show examples
 control”.
Firstly
, if
children
 did not have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
accessibility to use social
media
, they would have significantly more
time
 to do schoolwork.
Instead
 of just procrastinating,
wasting
Correct word choice
and wasting
show examples
time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, they will concentrate exactly on studying and considerably improve their skills.
Secondly
,
parents
 can establish a “parent control” to confine their
children
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
For instance
,
parents
 can set a limit of 2 hours
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their kids, so they will be confident that their kids do not
wasting
Change the verb form
waste
show examples
time
 only
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
media
.
To conclude
, there really many causes of
falling
Correct article usage
the falling
show examples
 of
children’
Change noun form
children’s
show examples
 school grades, including
spread
Add an article
the spread
show examples
 of social
media
 and
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
show examples
 amount of
treedom
Correct your spelling
freedom
show examples
. Despite
this
, the most effective solution is to set a
self control
Add a hyphen
self-control
show examples
 system for
children
.
Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on

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task response
Your response addresses both problems and solutions, but a few of your ideas could be more clearly developed. Try to elaborate more on specific examples or case studies.
coherence and cohesion
There are occasional grammatical errors and awkward phrases that affect the readability of your essay. For instance, "A growing number of aviability" should be "growing availability," and "considerable amount of treedom" likely meant "amount of freedom." Proofreading your work or using tools like Grammarly can help catch these mistakes.
introduction conclusion
You effectively introduce and conclude your essay, which helps frame your argument clearly.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with both problems and solutions well-organized.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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