Many children today spend a lot of time on social media which hurts their grades. what is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this ?
Nowadays,
large
number of kids Change the article
a large
the large
is
being involved Correct subject-verb agreement
are
to
wasting Change preposition
in
time
on social media
, and this
can lead to problems at school. This
essay will discuss the main reasons of
Change preposition
for
this
kind of issues
and propose possible solutions to avoid them.
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
To begin
with, the main causes of spending time
on social medias
is that almost every child Correct your spelling
media
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
an
access to the Remove the article
apply
internet
and there less
control from Add a missing verb
is less
parents
. A growing number of aviability
of technological devices lead Correct your spelling
availability
children
to less concentration on their studies and rapid
drop their grades. Because of Change the word
rapidly
this
they can miss some important lessons at school. What is more, today, a lot of families Add a comma
this,
is
modern family Correct subject-verb agreement
are
type
, Fix the agreement mistake
types
hence
, parents
might give to
their Change preposition
apply
children
more freedom and do not monitor how much time
their children
spend in
social Change preposition
on
media
.
In my opinion
the best way to solve Add a comma
opinion,
this
type of problems
is to Fix the agreement mistake
problem
do
not give access to Unnecessary verb
apply
children
to have
social Unnecessary verb
apply
medias
Correct your spelling
media
in
Change preposition
at
very
young age and add some restrictions for Correct article usage
a very
children
like “parents
control”. Replace the word
parental
Firstly
, if children
did not have a
accessibility to use social Remove the article
apply
media
, they would have significantly more time
to do schoolwork. Instead
of just procrastinating, wasting
Correct word choice
and wasting
time
in
Change preposition
on
internet
, they will concentrate exactly on studying and considerably improve their skills. Correct article usage
the internet
Secondly
, parents
can establish a “parent control” to confine their children
in
Change preposition
to
use
of Add an article
the use
internet
. Add an article
the internet
For instance
, parents
can set a limit of 2 hours in
Change preposition
on
internet
Add an article
the internet
to
their kids, so they will be confident that their kids do not Change preposition
for
wasting
Change the verb form
waste
time
only in
social Change preposition
on
media
.
To conclude
, there really many causes of falling
of Correct article usage
the falling
children’
school grades, including Change noun form
children’s
spread
of social Add an article
the spread
media
and considerable
amount of Add an article
a considerable
treedom
. Despite Correct your spelling
freedom
this
, the most effective solution is to set a self control
system for Add a hyphen
self-control
children
.Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on
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task response
Your response addresses both problems and solutions, but a few of your ideas could be more clearly developed. Try to elaborate more on specific examples or case studies.
coherence and cohesion
There are occasional grammatical errors and awkward phrases that affect the readability of your essay. For instance, "A growing number of aviability" should be "growing availability," and "considerable amount of treedom" likely meant "amount of freedom." Proofreading your work or using tools like Grammarly can help catch these mistakes.
introduction conclusion
You effectively introduce and conclude your essay, which helps frame your argument clearly.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with both problems and solutions well-organized.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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