Many children today spend a lot of time on social media which hurts their grades. what is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this?

In the
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
epoch,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of
children
surfing
Wrong verb form
surfed
show examples
on
diggital
Correct your spelling
digital
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
almost every minute. There is no doubt that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
social media is harmful to those youngster's grades, mental health and responsibility. Some of the major culprits of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
problems will be discussed before the most important solutions are drawn. The factors behind
are
Correct pronoun usage
this are
show examples
digital products' wild use, no
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
show examples
and feeling bored . Ways to solve
are
Correct pronoun usage
this are
show examples
purchased
Wrong verb form
purchasing
show examples
electronic products cautiously,
parents
control and
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
to live in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
real world. Reasons for
this
alarming situation vary. In some cases, more and more teenagers get their first smartphone and iPad too soon. Apparently, they do not have the ability of self-control.
Moreover
, If kids concentrate on social media
platform
Change the noun form
platforms
show examples
such
as TikTok,
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
and Instagram,
then
who will be responsible for their homework, study and
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Next,
a
mother
Change noun form
mother's
show examples
key reason for
this
is no clear restrictions.
In other words
, no one
teach
Change the verb form
teaches
show examples
the
children
how many hours should they spend on social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
and what actions are not allowed.
Parents
are the first
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
of their kids.
However
, some
parents
do not know the importance of it.
Last
and the most, The reason why young people spend hours on
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
is because of boring.
For instance
, not only the
children
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
the
grow-ups
Correct your spelling
grown-ups
show examples
click and slide on their phones
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. It
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
no one
reach
Fix the infinitive
to reach
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
true life. Clearly, it is boring for
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
to live a
sincerely
Change the adverb
sincere
show examples
life but no one survives. A number of definitions could be taken to mitigate the problem. The first obvious solution is to purchase digital products carefully.
Following
this
,
parents
too can play a part. Kids usually have less self-control ability, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they should not use the network without any rules.
Finally
, Adults need to show their spirits as role models. It is not only
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
teenager issue.
To conclude
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a massive process need
children
and adults
to
Add a missing verb
have to
show examples
working
Change the verb form
work
show examples
on. Various solutions exist to mitigate
such
drawbacks,
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
show examples
an infinite solution has yet to be found.
Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. This can help convey your message more effectively.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. This can make your points more convincing and relatable.
task achievement
Pay attention to providing a clear thesis statement and conclusion. This helps in framing your essay correctly.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious with grammar and vocabulary, particularly the use of articles and plurals. Small errors can impact readability.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and answers the question, covering various causes and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, which provides a sense of completeness to the essay.
task achievement
There are relevant points made about the role of digital products and the influence of parents.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Addictive design
  • Infinite scrolling
  • Personalized content feeds
  • Peer pressure
  • Social validation
  • Fear of missing out (FOMO)
  • Parental supervision
  • Digital literacy programs
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Awareness campaigns
  • Conscious regulation
  • Academic impact
  • Engagement
  • Social media usage
  • Online presence
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!