IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Science is more useful than human judgement in stopping crime. To what extent do you agree?

#science #judgement #crime
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Some individuals believe that
Science
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 is more beneficial than human judgment in criminal
cases
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. I partly agree with that because If there is
DNA
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evidence
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science
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 may solve the whole
crime
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.
However
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, sometimes there is no
evidence
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 and we should trust the Judge's decision.
Science
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 might be beneficial for stopping crimes. It provides us
real
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with real
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proof
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 of that
crime
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 case.
For instance
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, If there is no
evidence
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such
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 as a video record or some witness and
also
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 we just have
a
Correct article usage
the
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 hair of somebody. When they check the
DNA
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 of hair, they may find the criminal with just a hair.
However
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, If we find two different hairs in a
crime
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 area and we know that there is one criminal, scientific checks cannot be helpful for us because we have to ask both of these suspects.
Hence
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,
Science
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 can be beneficial If there is
evidence
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 with
DNA
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 checks.
Nevertheless
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, If we have two or more
proof
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 it cannot solve the whole
crime
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.
On the other hand
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, Sometimes we need human judgment in
cases
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. If there are some problems
such
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 as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
evidence
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 or lack of witnesses. Somebody has to ask suspects some psychological
questions
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 to solve a
crime
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.
For example
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, Recently ın my neighborhood there was a case of robbery.
However
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, It happened at night and nobody saw the criminal. They have two or three suspects and they have to ask them
questions
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such
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 as where were you at that time. In the end, some
suspect
Fix the agreement mistake
suspects
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 gave up and explained the whole robbery and he was punished with 3 years.
Therefore
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, If we do not have
proof
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 to solve a
crime
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 human judgement might be useful for these
cases
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.
To sum up
Linking Words
, Some people believe that
Science
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 is more useful than human
judgement
Correct your spelling
judgment
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 solving and
also
Linking Words
 stopping criminal
cases
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. I partly agree with that because
In
Add the comma(s)
, In
show examples
 my opinion, it depends on the
evidence
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. If we have enough
evidence
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 to find out the criminal from his/her
DNA
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,
Science
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 may solve the whole case by itself.
However
Linking Words
, Sometimes we do not have enough
proof
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 to solve these
cases
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 by
Science
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, At that time human judgement will solve these
cases
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 by asking suspects some psychological
questions
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. suspects some
psyhclogical
Correct your spelling
psychological
questions
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by taylanpolat6124 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, aim to organize your essay into clearer paragraphs with distinct main points. Currently, the ideas are somewhat scattered.
coherence cohesion
Creating a more impactful introduction and conclusion will help support your main argument. Both should clearly restate your position in a simple manner at the beginning and end.
task achievement
Work on elaborating your points with more detail and using varied vocabulary to make the essay more engaging.
task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples throughout your essay to add depth and support to your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear central argument with both sides considered, demonstrating a balanced view.
task achievement
The essay mentions relevant examples, like DNA evidence and the robbery case, which add to the clarity of the argument.
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