ou should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words
Hobbies
are typically more focused activities that a person pursues in their free time
. In this
contemporary world
some people are spending more Add a comma
world,
time
in
Change preposition
on
hobbies
. In this
essay, I will argue the reason for this
case and how the
society or an individual is affected by Correct article usage
apply
this
.
On the one hand, engaging more time
in hobbies
will improve his or her creativity by giving their full attention to the specific work, which allow
them to invent new things that will Change the verb form
allows
be help
society in the future. Change the verb form
help
For instance
, in ancient times, the
statues were made from stones, as technology Correct article usage
apply
improves
a man from China who Wrong verb form
improved
is
making sculptures as his hobby invented Wrong verb form
was
an
3D printing machine Change the article
a
that is
helping lots of people these days. At the same time
, contributing more time
in
Change preposition
to
hobbies
will be the main reason for the development of a business that will boost the economy as well.
On the other hand
, participating in hobby activities will reduce the stress and the
anxiety for a working professional who is continuously working on the weekends. If they spend more Correct article usage
apply
time
on their favourite hobby they will think positively which allow them to improve their health in many ways. Besides
that, there some places are being opened to spend some quality time
with their family and friends which involves some fun activities that helps
an individual to be happy. Change the verb form
help
For example
, there are more board games shops have
been opened in recent times where the public can enjoy some physical games with food and drinks.
In Conclusion, I would argue thatCorrect pronoun usage
that have
,
there are more positive benefits of spending more Remove the comma
apply
time
in
Change preposition
on
hobbies
which allow a human to live a healthy life and improve their creativity and invention skills. Hence
, devoting more time
in
Change preposition
to
hobbies
did not affect society or an individual in a negative way.Submitted by insighttribez on
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task achievement
Although your essay covered the main aspects of the task, you need to focus on why fewer people are spending time on hobbies nowadays, not the increasing time people are spending. Clarifying this point will help better address the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a single clear idea which directly supports your thesis. Some paragraphs have mixed ideas which can confuse the reader.
task achievement
Your writing tone is suitable for an IELTS essay. It's formal and appropriate for the task.
task achievement
You have included examples which support your arguments well. This makes your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay.
The Greeting
Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.
Always start an informal letter in the ways:
- Dear + name
- Hi / Hello + name
‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.
For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:
- Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
- Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.