Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some

people

Use synonyms

have started to think that the younger community must have

full-time

Correct article usage

a full-time

show examples

education

Use synonyms

till the age of 18.

This

Linking Words

idea will become a failure thing for younger

people

Use synonyms

in the future. First of all, I disagree with their thought about full-time study for young

people

Use synonyms

. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

will make the younger hate their

life

Use synonyms

and

also

Linking Words

not only that. Their communication skill will be reduced, they will become

a bookworms

Correct the article-noun agreement

bookworms

a bookworm

show examples

until they get older, their confidence level will be low, they will never think on their own, and their mind will think about only studying till the end of their

life

Use synonyms

. But,

education

Use synonyms

is only a part of

life

Use synonyms

not a full-timetime thing for the whole

life

Use synonyms

. Knowledge is needed for every young

people

Use synonyms

but, experience is

also

Linking Words

needed for

life

Use synonyms

without experience nothing can be done in every situation. If studying is the main part of their

life

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what will happen to their extra activities

Change the punctuation

show examples

So, both things are important in their

life

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

,if

aperson

Correct your spelling

a person

is continuously studying a book he knows everything in the book but he doesn't know anything about what is happening in the outside world.

Secondly

Linking Words

, I agree with their thought because studying every day will help the younger

people

Use synonyms

to score higher marks on every exam and

this

Linking Words

will make a competition between the students and everyone will get eager to score higher marks.

This

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will help them to clear any type of entrance examination for their future and it helps them to move to College after completing school at the age of 18.

For example

Linking Words

education

Use synonyms

can help to improve the knowledge of a person but

this

Linking Words

will not give them everything they want. In the end,

education

Use synonyms

is an important thing in every younger person's

life

Use synonyms

but not a full-time thing to do

this

Linking Words

will make everyone lazy at their work if they study continuously. So, they have to concentrate on everything

this

Linking Words

will help them to do anything in future.

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task achievement

Your introduction is very brief and does not provide a clear thesis statement outlining your main arguments. To improve, you should explicitly state your position on the issue and briefly mention the points you will discuss.

task achievement

The essay's main points are valid but need further development and clearer examples. Provide more specific examples and elaborate on your arguments to make them more convincing.

coherence cohesion

There is some attempt at structuring the essay, but ideas are not always logically connected. Use appropriate transition words to link your points and paragraphs more fluidly.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and focuses on a single idea. This will improve the coherence of your essay and make your arguments easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Conclude your essay with a summary of your main points and a restatement of your position. This helps to reinforce your arguments and leaves a strong final impression.

task achievement

You have a balance of arguments for and against the idea, which shows you can consider different perspectives.

task achievement

The essay covers several important aspects of the topic, indicating a good grasp of the subject.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

331 words

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Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Even though globalization affects, the world economy in a positive manner, it has a lot of negative as well. Do you agree or disagree?