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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The given map details Porth Harbor in the past and alterations made in the present day

The given map details Porth Harbor in the past and alterations made in the present day
The two map illustrations demonstrate the layout of Porth Harbour in 2000 and its current state.
Overall
Linking Words
, a few facilities have been placed and various areas have expanded. In 2000, there was a
marina
Use synonyms
 for private yachts in the
northern west
Add a hyphen
northern-west
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 corner of
Harbour
Correct article usage
the Harbour
show examples
, which was near the car park and showers. Today, it is replaced by a fishing boat area which was on the opposite side of the
marina
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 change has
also
Linking Words
 contributed to adding showers & toilets to the left side of the
marina
Use synonyms
 today.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the top car parking area had a connection to the Main
Road
Use synonyms
, the car park in the south
disconnected
Add a missing verb
was disconnected
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 from the southern
road
Use synonyms
 and the connection was replaced by the Main
Road
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the northern Dock has expanded to 2 from 1, which means that the Dock now has a capacity for three passenger ferries. In the southern section, new cafes and shops are located at the seaside (eastern of the
marina
Use synonyms
).
Also
Linking Words
, the disused Castle was converted into a new hotel.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a new
road
Use synonyms
 was constructed between cafes and hotels.
Finally
Linking Words
, public beaches on the southern coast are now accompanied by private hotels.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words marina, road with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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