Increasingly, many young people are deciding to work or study in other countries. What are the causes of this phenomenon? Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?

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In these
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These
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days a phenomenon is spreading in
the
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apply
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devoloped
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developed
countries which is immigration for young people. So, some people think that
the
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apply
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this
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stuation
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situation
is very harmful to the young generation,
while
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others believe that it is an opportunity
to
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for
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the students who are
on
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at
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the beginning of their journey.
This
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essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion. On
one
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the one
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hand, people who think it is once in a life chance and it must be taken, for the reason that they can explore other c
ountries
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countries
and grow some
self independence
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self-independence
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.
For example
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, moving to another country abroad is a huge responsibility, managing their financial plan,
planning
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and planning
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their upcoming future step. So, that
why
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is why
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they believe that the applicants who are climbing the stairs must take
this
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step.
On the other hand
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, the individuals who see
this
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thought as a harmful experience for the young students, and
the
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apply
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may see it as a step
backward
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backwards
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insted
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instead
of going forward, for the reason that they can take
this
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chance in their own countries and cities, and work in the local shops. To illustrate, a substitute
of
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for
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going outside their hometowns, they can work and study at the same time in their city close to their family and friends,
this
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will
also
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help them
develope
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develop
their educational level. For that specific cause using the local chances is greater and more helpful for the upcoming generation. In conclusion, after a
carful
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careful
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analysis of both
point
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points
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of views
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views
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view
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, I believe that helping the economy of your town
have
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has
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an
enourmes
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enormous
impact on the study level and the working industry.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the main points of the topic but it could benefit from clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your arguments are well developed and supported with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay can be improved. Your ideas need to be connected more effectively with linking words and phrases. Consider using transitional words like 'however', 'therefore', 'moreover', etc., to achieve better coherence.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical and spelling errors. For instance, 'devoloped' should be 'developed', and 'enourmes' should be 'enormous'. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and plural forms.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and relevant. You have clearly stated the topic and your position, which helps frame the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and addresses both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Interconnected
  • Higher education
  • Prestigious institutions
  • Research facilities
  • Career advancement
  • International experience
  • Resume
  • Cultural exchange
  • Immerse
  • Broaden worldviews
  • Economic factors
  • Unemployment
  • Quality of life
  • Standards of living
  • Healthcare
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