Increasingly, many young people are deciding to work or study in other countries. What are the causes of this phenomenon? Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?
In these
days a phenomenon is spreading in Change preposition
These
the
Correct article usage
apply
devoloped
countries which is immigration for young people. So, some people think that Correct your spelling
developed
the
Remove the article
apply
this
stuation
is very harmful to the young generation, Correct your spelling
situation
while
others believe that it is an opportunity to
the students who are Change preposition
for
on
the beginning of their journey. Change preposition
at
This
essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion.
On one
hand, people who think it is once in a life chance and it must be taken, for the reason that they can explore other c
Correct article usage
the one
ountries
and grow some Correct your spelling
countries
self independence
. Add a hyphen
self-independence
For example
, moving to another country abroad is a huge responsibility, managing their financial plan, planning
their upcoming future step. So, that Correct word choice
and planning
why
they believe that the applicants who are climbing the stairs must take Add a missing verb
is why
this
step.
On the other hand
, the individuals who see this
thought as a harmful experience for the young students, and the
may see it as a step Correct article usage
apply
backward
Change the spelling
backwards
insted
of going forward, for the reason that they can take Correct your spelling
instead
this
chance in their own countries and cities, and work in the local shops. To illustrate, a substitute of
going outside their hometowns, they can work and study at the same time in their city close to their family and friends, Change preposition
for
this
will also
help them develope
their educational level. For that specific cause using the local chances is greater and more helpful for the upcoming generation.
In conclusion, after a Correct your spelling
develop
carful
analysis of both Correct your spelling
careful
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
Change preposition
of views
views
, I believe that helping the economy of your town Fix the agreement mistake
view
have
an Correct subject-verb agreement
has
enourmes
impact on the study level and the working industry.Correct your spelling
enormous
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the main points of the topic but it could benefit from clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your arguments are well developed and supported with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay can be improved. Your ideas need to be connected more effectively with linking words and phrases. Consider using transitional words like 'however', 'therefore', 'moreover', etc., to achieve better coherence.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical and spelling errors. For instance, 'devoloped' should be 'developed', and 'enourmes' should be 'enormous'. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and plural forms.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and relevant. You have clearly stated the topic and your position, which helps frame the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and addresses both sides of the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.