The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The map illustrates Garlsdon
town
and the two possible locations for a new supermarket.
Overall
, by looking at the map we see that both supermarkets' sites are accessible by train. The
first
site
will be constructed in the countryside
in contrast
with the second
site
which will be developed in the city centre. The
first
site
of the supermarket will be located in the north-west of the
town
in the rural area. It is 12 km
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
Hindon a small
town
with 10.000
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
. It is located between the railway and the main road. There is a housing in the north of Garlsdon which is close to the
first
planned location. The second
site
will be located in the city centre and it will be surrounded by the industrial area compared to the
first
supermarket place which will be
placed
Verb problem
located
show examples
in the countryside. The second planned place will be accessible by trains and main roads and it is 16km and 25km to Bransdon and Cransdon
a small and big towns
Correct the article-noun agreement
small and big towns
a small and big town
show examples
with 15.000 and 29.000 populations respectively.
Also
, it is near a housing area which is in the south of the
town
.
Submitted by sam  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words town, first, site with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Congestion
  • Economic benefits
  • Environmental impact
  • Foot traffic
  • Green space
  • Job creation
  • Local property values
  • Parking availability
  • Pollution
  • Proximity
  • Public transportation
  • Sustainability
  • Traffic patterns
  • Residential areas
  • Shopping convenience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: