IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

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In recent years the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who have decided to travel to other
countries
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 has increased. From my point of view,
this
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 option is probably beneficial which seeking new experiences and improving personal growth for their own careers. There are various reasons why
people
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 choose to tour to other places. First of all, they can definitely gain new experiences and learn several traditions and lifestyles of different cultures.
Moreover
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, most
people
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 have been visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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foreign
countries
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 for relaxation.
For instance
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, many individuals have feelings of stress and depression which is why they should some calmness. In
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additionally
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addition
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,
businessmans
Correct your spelling
businessman
businessmen
 might go to different
countries
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 to find
career
Correct article usage
a career
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 or
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
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 oneʼs own business and to gain a better understanding of international business and politics.
For example
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, various bosses of companies set off to sign
in
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apply
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contract
Fix the agreement mistake
contracts
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 with other companies
for enhancing
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to enhance
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advancement
Add an article
the advancement
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 of their oneʼs own
to
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apply
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across multiple
countries
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.
In other words
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,
traveling
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travelling
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 offers a number of opportunities
such
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 as expanding knowledge about different cultures, increasing personal exposure and developing modern skills.
Traveling
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Travelling
show examples
 exactly helps to vary
worldview
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worldviews
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 and can
also
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 assist
open-mindedness
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in open-mindedness
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, tolerance and acceptance of different ways of life.
Furthermore
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, it enhances self-confidence and problem-solving skills through new experiences and challenges.
Besides
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 the sensation of stress and anxiety can be reduced by voyaging.
As well as
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 it improves mental health and offers chances for relaxation and physical activity.
Additionally
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, it promotes that you will get out of your comfort zone. That's why
traveling
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travelling
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 has a positive impact on
people
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.
To conclude
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,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 has provided
people
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 with numerous opportunities to experience and understand the real world.

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task response
Try to provide more specific examples and details to support your points. For instance, mentioning specific cultural practices or giving concrete examples of how business opportunities arise through international travel can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Use linking words and phrases to ensure a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task response
Be cautious with word choice and grammar to avoid small errors, such as 'In additionally' which should be 'Additionally' and 'businessmans' which should be 'businessmen.'
task response
Your essay covers the given task and addresses both parts of the question.
task response
Your main points about cultural awareness, relaxation, and business advantages are relevant and insightful.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas discussed in the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancements in transportation
  • Cultural curiosity
  • Economic reasons
  • Globalization
  • Educational opportunities
  • Digital nomadism
  • Healthcare tourism
  • Tourism industry growth
  • Personal development
  • Interconnectedness
  • Higher living standards
  • Remote work
  • Broaden their horizons
  • Affordable travel
  • Medical treatments
  • Global perspective
  • Air travel options
  • Cuisines
  • Lifestyles
  • Job opportunities
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