Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?
In recent years the number of
people
who have decided to travel to other countries
has increased. From my point of view, this
option is probably beneficial which seeking new experiences and improving personal growth for their own careers.
There are various reasons why people
choose to tour to other places. First of all, they can definitely gain new experiences and learn several traditions and lifestyles of different cultures. Moreover
, most people
have been visiting to
foreign Remove the preposition
apply
countries
for relaxation. For instance
, many individuals have feelings of stress and depression which is why they should some calmness. In additionally
, Replace the word
addition
businessmans
might go to different Correct your spelling
businessman
businessmen
countries
to find career
or Correct article usage
a career
developing
oneʼs own business and to gain a better understanding of international business and politics. Wrong verb form
develop
For example
, various bosses of companies set off to sign in
Change preposition
apply
contract
with other companies Fix the agreement mistake
contracts
for enhancing
Change preposition
to enhance
advancement
of their oneʼs own Add an article
the advancement
to
across multiple Change preposition
apply
countries
.
In other words
, traveling
offers a number of opportunities Change the spelling
travelling
such
as expanding knowledge about different cultures, increasing personal exposure and developing modern skills. Traveling
exactly helps to vary Change the spelling
Travelling
worldview
and can Fix the agreement mistake
worldviews
also
assist open-mindedness
, tolerance and acceptance of different ways of life. Change preposition
in open-mindedness
Furthermore
, it enhances self-confidence and problem-solving skills through new experiences and challenges. Besides
the sensation of stress and anxiety can be reduced by voyaging. As well as
it improves mental health and offers chances for relaxation and physical activity. Additionally
, it promotes that you will get out of your comfort zone. That's why traveling
has a positive impact on Change the spelling
travelling
people
.
To conclude
, traveling
has provided Change the spelling
travelling
people
with numerous opportunities to experience and understand the real world.Submitted by omondavlat91 on
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task response
Try to provide more specific examples and details to support your points. For instance, mentioning specific cultural practices or giving concrete examples of how business opportunities arise through international travel can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Use linking words and phrases to ensure a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task response
Be cautious with word choice and grammar to avoid small errors, such as 'In additionally' which should be 'Additionally' and 'businessmans' which should be 'businessmen.'
task response
Your essay covers the given task and addresses both parts of the question.
task response
Your main points about cultural awareness, relaxation, and business advantages are relevant and insightful.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas discussed in the essay.