Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages.

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In
this
globalization era,
billingual
Correct your spelling
bilingual
skill is ubiquitous for cross
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
, including children,
espessially
Correct your spelling
especially
for
non-english
Change the capitalization
non-English
show examples
countries.
According to
research by
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
, learning
second
Add an article
a second
show examples
language
in elementary school
will
Verb problem
is
show examples
more beneficial compared to secondary
level
. Considering multiple
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
, I personally support
this
statement and
eager
Add a missing verb
am eager
show examples
to
ellaborate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
reasons in
this
essay. The critics argue that
forced
Wrong verb form
forcing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kids to learn plenty of
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
in their first
level
would
draining them
Wrong verb form
drain
show examples
them, specifically for non-mandatory
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
such
as secondary
language
.
Furthermore
, children ought to spend their childhood
to play
Change the verb form
playing
show examples
and
interacts
Wrong verb form
interacting
show examples
with their colleagues and it would be more advantageous if the curriculum shifted to
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
serious
level
such
as in
high-school
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
.
However
, Multilingual
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
essential nowadays, specifically for
non-english
Change the capitalization
non-English
show examples
countries. The researcher
advocate
Change the verb form
advocates
show examples
adolescents will have a golden era, when the juveniles grasp
a learning modules
Correct the article-noun agreement
learning modules
a learning module
show examples
with ease, compared to
other phase
Change the wording
another phase
other phases
show examples
.
Besides
, primary pupils were only exposed to
a simple fundamental lessons
Correct the article-noun agreement
simple fundamental lessons
a simple fundamental lesson
show examples
,
such
as norms, ethics, and environments. Since they
are not overwhelm
Change the verb form
are not overwhelmed
show examples
by the
sylabus
Correct your spelling
syllabus
, adding
secondary
Correct article usage
a secondary
show examples
language
would be best in
this
phase.
Furthermore
, schools do not have
urge
Add an article
the urge
an urge
show examples
to push the kids, since they would relatively have a longer period for learning
juxtaposed
Verb problem
compared
show examples
to just starting when they
are enter
Change the verb form
enter
show examples
high-school
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
level
.
Subsequently
, the method could be packed in
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
captivating way. To exemplify, they could learn
Correct article usage
a foreigner
show examples
foreigner
Replace the word
foreign
show examples
language
by watching
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
or
sing
Wrong verb form
singing
show examples
together in
Correct article usage
a faschination
show examples
faschination
Correct your spelling
fascination
approach.
To sum up
, adding
foreigner
Fix the agreement mistake
foreigners
show examples
to learning content early would have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remarkable merit since they are still in the golden era and are not
distrubted
Correct your spelling
distributed
to
a complicated modules
Correct the article-noun agreement
complicated modules
a complicated module
show examples
.
Additionally
, a captivating learning approach would
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fit in
this
phase, because of
longer
Correct article usage
the longer
show examples
learning duration.
Submitted by epindonta02 on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task, it needs more specific examples to strengthen the arguments. Ensure that each point made is supported by a relevant example or evidence. This can make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity of your ideas. Some of your sentences are complex and might be difficult to understand. Simplify your language and make sure each sentence conveys its intended meaning clearly.
coherence cohesion
Improve the essay's structure by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main point and that paragraphs transition smoothly. Make sure each paragraph develops a single idea fully before moving on to the next.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be stronger. Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss, and your conclusion effectively summarizes these points and reinforces your position.
task achievement
You have a solid understanding of the topic and have made an effort to cover both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay into clear paragraphs which is a good approach to ensure readability.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • fluency
  • accent mastery
  • cognitive abilities
  • problem-solving
  • creativity
  • cultural awareness
  • inclusivity
  • academic performance
  • foundational education
  • literacy
  • qualified teachers
  • suboptimal
  • linguistic confusion
What to do next:
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