Some people agree that it is better to not share violent news in the newspaper

#people #news #newspaper

One of the most controversial issues today relates to sharing war crimes and violence on the screen and

Change preposition

in newspaper

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newspaper

Fix the agreement mistake

newspapers

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. A large fraction of the population believes that

this

has led to an increase in crime numbers and has bad effects on

society

in general

also

it is better to ban it from the news. In

this

essay

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am going to discuss different points related to

this

issue

then

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will eventually give my opinion. Some

people

agree that it is better to not share violent news in the newspaper, the main reason for believing

this

is that young children will learn from the criminal's many ideas and they will learn how to apply them, these types of programmes will have bad effects on their behaviour,

For instance

last

year a teenager from US admit a crime he stole a grocery and when police officers ask him he said he watches a serious on TV and he did the same as the criminal at the TV show. The second reason it is better to cancel violent

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shows from newspapers is that when you share these types of programmes you spread

horor

Correct your spelling

horror

among

society

members,

people

will not feel safe and they will act daily

respond

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to respond

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to their fieriness, usually

people

nowadays

people

take many procedures to keep criminals outside their door,

for example

, I read an article about a man who lives alone inside his house for 10 years when they ask him why you did not leave your house at

this

period he said he was afraid to be killed like a guy he watched in newspapers. In conclusion, violent newspapers have a

damage

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damaging

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effect on

society

, in my opinion, I think governments must put some rules to remove

such

news away from our

society

Submitted by waleed.edu11 on Wed Jul 31 2024

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task achievement

The introduction clearly presents the topic and intention of the essay. However, it can be made more engaging by providing a bit more background information or context for the issue being discussed.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence. This helps the reader quickly grasp the main point of each section, enhancing the overall coherence.

task achievement

There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, especially with the use of tenses and articles. It would be beneficial to review basic grammar rules and maybe work with a tutor to practice writing more fluidly.

coherence cohesion

The examples provided are relevant but need to be better integrated into the argument. Consider explaining how each example directly supports your point before or after introducing it.

coherence cohesion

While the conclusion is present, it can be improved by summarizing the main points discussed in the essay before giving your final opinion.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic well, introducing several key points for discussion and offering personal opinions and examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which supports the reader's understanding.

task achievement

Usage of specific examples like the teenager influenced by TV or the man who stayed indoors enhances the essay by providing concrete instances.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Editorial oversight
Credibility
Multimedia content
Echo chamber
Media consumption
Information overload
Critical thinking
Ethical journalism
Editorial bias
Digital literacy

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Some people agree that it is better to not share violent news in the newspaper

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, the qualities of life in large cities is becoming worse. What are the cause for this problem? What measure should be taken to tackle this problem?

Some people think that climate change could have a negative effect on business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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