IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have recently moved into a new house and have noticed that the garden is in need of some maintenance. Write a letter to your landlord requesting permission to make the necessary improvements.

#house #garden #maintenance #landlord #permission #improvements
Dear Mr Johnson, I am writing
this
 letter to you
for granting
Change preposition
to grant
show examples
 me permission to improve
garden
Add an article
the garden
show examples
. Since I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
moved ten days back, I
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 observed that
garden
Correct article usage
the garden
show examples
 requires a face-lift.
Furthermore
, The
garden
 is almost vandalised. There are no more pavements and the plants
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 overgrown now. All
this
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 cutting and grooming by
professional
Add an article
a professional
show examples
 gardener.
Therefore
, I am requesting you
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
grant me permission to
make
Correct your spelling
take
show examples
 over the
garden
 and try to maintain it . I will make sure that
garden
Correct article usage
the garden
show examples
look
Correct subject-verb agreement
looks
show examples
 nice and
there
Correct word choice
that there
show examples
 is minimal damage
happen
Verb problem
apply
show examples
when the work starts.
Lastly
, I will hire some
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 to mawn grass and cut
overgrwon
Correct your spelling
overgrown
 plants. The planned activity will take one week to complete. if there is disturbance occurs because of
this
. Please inform me, I will make sure it
should
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not interrupt your kids
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
. I look forward to your prompt response on
this
 matter. Yours sincerely, Mark wood
Submitted by yash334 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider breaking the text into more clearly defined paragraphs to improve readability. For example, separating the introduction, the current state of the garden, your request for improvements, and your assurances into distinct sections.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea and flows smoothly into the next. You might incorporate transitional words and phrases to better link your points.
task achievement
Address the landlord by their full name if you know it (e.g., Mr. John Johnson) or use their title and last name (e.g., Mr. Johnson) consistently throughout the letter. It adds a level of respect and professionalism, which is important in formal letters.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and formal, which is appropriate for a letter to a landlord.
task achievement
A clear request for permission to make improvements is evident, and the rationale behind the request is effectively communicated.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a proper closing which reiterates the request and shows a willingness to cooperate with the landlord, maintaining good rapport.

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