Some people think that children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while others believe that adults should prevent them from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
There are a number of
people
believe
that Correct pronoun usage
who believe
children
can be freely
to make Replace the adverb
free
mistakes
, while
the rest think that adult
must prevent them from wrong Fix the agreement mistake
adults
action
. Fix the agreement mistake
actions
Children
who have freedom tend to development
in education and Replace the word
develop
health
field, Correct article usage
the health
however
, it also
make
them Change the verb form
makes
become
perfect and Verb problem
apply
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
impact
on Add an article
an impact
social
and technology. In my opinion, Replace the word
society
prevent
Wrong verb form
preventing
children
from making mistake
is Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
best
way to live.
On the one side, Change the article
the best
parents
who allow their children
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
mistake
that lead them Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
become
happier than others. Fix the infinitive
to become
It prove
by Correct pronoun usage
Prove
compass research
, which is the biggest newspaper in Indonesia, said Correct your spelling
Compass Research
at
around 80% Change preposition
that
children
enjoy Change preposition
of children
to have
Change the verb form
having
a
free Correct article usage
apply
chances
Correct the article-noun agreement
chance
doing
something without thinking too much about future Change the verb form
to do
mistakes
. Additionally
, there are several field
that have Change to a plural noun
fields
positive
impact not only Add an article
a positive
education
but Change preposition
on education
also
social
. Replace the word
on society
People
can learn something new from their mistakes
which lead
them to avoid Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
make
the same Change the form of the verb
making
mistakes
. For example
, a boy who forgot make
a task Verb problem
to do
from
their Change preposition
for
children
have
a social punishment from Correct subject-verb agreement
has
teacher
that Add an article
a teacher
the teacher
make
him being better person and Change the verb form
makes
avoid
Correct subject-verb agreement
avoids
do
the same thing. The Wrong verb form
doing
children
will become wise people
.
On the other hand
, children
who prevent
Wrong verb form
are prevented
doing
Verb problem
from making
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
from
their Change preposition
by
parents
will have positive
impact on health and technology. These Add an article
a positive
are brings
Wrong verb form
bring
advantage
for themselves. Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
For instance
, a girl who have
private rules from her Correct subject-verb agreement
has
parents
to avoid several food
which are dangerous for their health. It makes the girl stay healthy and happy every single day. It means when her Change to a plural noun
foods
parents
prevent from
Change preposition
apply
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
such
as eat
Change the form of the verb
eating
wrong
kind of food Change the article
the wrong
that
will Correct pronoun usage
it
make
positive for her. It is one Verb problem
be
parents
way to save their Change to a genitive case
parent's
children
. Moreover
, children
become aware to do
activities when they do not have Change preposition
of doing
freedom
for Correct article usage
the freedom
mistake
. Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
For example
, in technology
field Correct article usage
the technology
which
will be dangerous if they Correct pronoun usage
it
have
a Verb problem
make
mistake
for
Change preposition
in
computer
task.
In my perspective, it is a good way when Correct article usage
a computer
parents
do not give a chance for children
to do
Verb problem
make
mistake
since they will be aware to do all of Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
activities
in their Add an article
the activities
live
.
In conclusion, Replace the word
lives
allow
Wrong verb form
allowing
children
to make a
Correct article usage
apply
mistake
will bring positive development Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
for
education and Change preposition
in
social
which make them become wise Replace the word
society
people
. However
, the other side also
bring
Change the verb form
brings
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
such
as make
them aware to do something.Wrong verb form
making
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of the essay. Ensure that each paragraph naturally transitions to the next. See if the connection between ideas are clear.
coherence cohesion
The introduction does not clearly state the essay's focus. Try to frame the thesis statement more effectively to set the stage for the essay.
task achievement
Develop your main points more comprehensively. Provide detailed examples or evidence to support each claim.
task achievement
Make sure each example directly supports the point being made. Some examples are not as clearly connected to the argument as they could be.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which show that the writer understands the importance of framing an argument.
supported main points
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing an attempt to provide a balanced discussion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example