It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#scientists #tourists #travel #environment #pole #development

Exploring far-flung natural places can bring more benefits to visitors despite one conquerable downside. By travelling to an island

that is

unknown to the vast majority of people,

for instance

, travellers may have a chance to participate in exotic religious practices and experience a whole new way of life.

Although

such

a trip could be potentially dangerous with climatic differences or animal attacks, these risks can become less serious with the aid of modern technology

such

as drones or heat sensors. It is

therefore

believed that visitors should take a trip to novel destinations for once in their lives. Scientists can

also

benefit considerably from visiting untouched parts of the world with minimum harm to the environment.

While

a few people may scheme to poach animals for profit or destroy their habitats, their malicious intent can be eliminated with pertinent regulations from the authorities.

Submitted by banhbao0565 on Wed Jul 31 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay responds to the prompt effectively, but the introduction could better frame the overall argument, and a conclusion is needed to succinctly summarize your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly and that ideas within paragraphs are linked clearly. Consider using connectors like 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' or 'In conclusion.'

language precision

There are some grammatical inconsistencies and awkward phrasing. For example, 'for once in their lives' can be more naturally phrased as 'at least once in their lives.'

task achievement

Good use of specific examples, such as mentioning drones and heat sensors, which support the argument effectively.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure is apparent with a clear distinction between the benefits for tourists and scientists, making the essay easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

144 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

remote natural environment
scientific research
climate change
environmental preservation
economic benefits
conservation efforts
habitat disruption
pollution
cultural disruption
indigenous populations
commercialization
safety risks
personal enrichment
ecosystems
awareness
appreciation for nature

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Nowadays, many families rarely have meals together. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?
It is frequently observed that contemporary familial dynamics have led to a diminishing propensity for families to partake in communal meals together. The main cause is the busy schedule people are going through and a heavy workload that restricts them from enjoying their time with family. This essay aims to examine both perspectives and ultimately present a position in support of the latter view.
7.5
band
Some people believe that elderly employees are more useful to a company, while others believe that young employees are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The debate on whether elderly or young employees are more beneficial to a company is a topic of discussion. Both groups bring unique strengths and challenges to the workplace, and their contributions can vary depending on the organization's needs. This essay will discuss both perspectives and offer my opinion.
4
band
In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are split opinions regarding whether the age-care service should be paid by the government or the family in Britain. Some people believe that the government might be helped older for the rest of life in the age-care facility whereas others believe that it is a family responsibility to take care of their grandparents. However, both have their own positive side and will provide the answer with instance and perspective view too in the following paragraphs.
4.5
band
Most modern families have both parents working as a result children spends less and less time with their parents. What is the reason for this ? What problems this cause
→ In modern period, a lot number of new age farsilies have both father and mother doing job .Therefore, children are not able to spend time with their parents which can cause major problems .so, the following paragraphs will include the reason behind this action taken by modern parents as well as some trouble which can be caused with appropriate examples and explanations.
5.5
band
You are studying a short course in another country. Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider. There is a major problem with the accommodation. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter, say what the problem is describe the accommodation you thought you were getting ask the provider to solve the problem
I am writing to express my disappointment with the type of accommodation provided by your institution. My name is Sameer Rana, an international student I.D number XX077, studying the fast-tracked English programm at the Seneca College.

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, many families rarely have meals together. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that elderly employees are more useful to a company, while others believe that young employees are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Most modern families have both parents working as a result children spends less and less time with their parents. What is the reason for this ? What problems this cause