Some people believe that the arts should receive money from government and big companies. Others feel such spending is a luxury and that it would be better if it were invested in scientific projects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Provide reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Government and known companies always have spent their cash on several aspects
such
as arts and technology. Many people believe that spending change on exhibitions and art is wasting wealth thus
most part of the investment has to be for scientific projects.
First,
if investigators gave their money just for art, their country would not see any pioneers which
are related to science. Correct pronoun usage
who
Therefore
, the government have to buy the newest technology and investigations from other nations then
it will cost more than their budget. On the other hand
, arts are very important to show the culture of a country like France. Paris, has many art museums and their huge companies spend a lot of budget on this
industry hence
, they attract many artists and tourists from all around the world hence
they receive a lot of currency.
Second,
scientific research is really important for pioneer countries. It is one of the best ways of getting funds from other investors. If these scientific projects are followed by all people then
it is obvious they can bring more than a billion dollars to their regions. Logically, it is visible that similar countries like South Korea and Japan are the pioneers and have the highest technology. Obviously, they had become one of the richest countries on earth by emphasizing on newest science subjects.
In conclusion, spending wealth on any industry is very good. in contrast
, people have to know how to make money by each of them. Due to
the examples, we can understand investing cash in any aspect can make a country rich and popular in its domain.Submitted by sarvin.rahimi9898 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument. In some places, the ideas feel disconnected or incomplete.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and grounded.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which offers a clear structure.
task achievement
Overall, the response addresses both views and provides an opinion, which answers the prompt effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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