In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Some people think it is a brilliant idea and brings a lot of benefits; others, however, deny. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In some nations,
students
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have
jobs
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and it is believed as advantageous
that
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and
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has positive outcomes.
However
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, others disagree. I would agree that having
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job
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jobs
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for
students
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is beneficial
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while
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but
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there
is
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are
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some drawbacks.
This
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essay will discuss both ideas.
To begin
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with, having
jobs
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for
students
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is essential that they get insights about many things in
the
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apply
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life. It provides opportunities to prepare
students
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for many obstacles they
they
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apply
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may face in future.
Moreover
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, through employing in a
job
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student's
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students'
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communication skills will enhanced and they earn money as financial support which is beneficial for teenagers
that
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who
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will be independent financially.
For instance
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, some of my school friends have a
job
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in restaurants . They feel proud to
earning
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earn
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money they support their family and themselves.
Thus
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, it has
a
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apply
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several positive consequences for
students
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to
having
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have
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jobs
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.
On the other hand
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,
besides
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beneficial
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the beneficial
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results of having
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job
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a job
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for
students
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, there are other measures
that
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is
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are
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vitally deleterious for them.
First,
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they may feel under pressure and
stressed
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stress
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while
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they studying and working simultaneously.
Hence
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, their school mark may decrease because of
immerse
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immense
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pressure of working.
Also
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, young people should be able to enjoy
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instead
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themselves instead
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of working in a
job
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because in the future they will likely
to
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apply
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have less time
to
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for
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entertainment.
For example
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, I used to play football and
hung
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hang
show examples
out with my friends when I was a student which has favourable impacts on my life. In conclusion,
although
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I agree that having
jobs
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for
students
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is beneficial
such
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as earning money or learning new skills that prepare for
further
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jobs
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, there are some disadvantages. Feeling under stress and
have
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apply
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not
finding
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having
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time to enjoy is one of these disadvantages.
Submitted by Yasar Khan on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines both views and presents your opinion in a more structured way. This will make it easier for the reader to understand your stance and the points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to improve coherence. This includes using more cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is fully developed.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. While small inaccuracies are acceptable, ensuring that your sentences are complete and clear will strengthen your essay.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, such as your references to friends working in restaurants and your own experiences.
task achievement
Your conclusion accurately summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion, which is effective in reinforcing the essay's message.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial independence
  • work ethic
  • time management
  • resume building
  • career paths
  • academic responsibilities
  • stress levels
  • personal growth
  • extracurricular activities
  • sense of responsibility
  • maturity
  • adulthood
  • social development
  • emotional development
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