In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Some people think it is a brilliant idea and brings a lot of benefits; others, however, deny. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In some nations,

students

Use synonyms

have

jobs

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and it is believed as advantageous

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

has positive outcomes.

However

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, others disagree. I would agree that having

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job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

for

students

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is beneficial

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

but

show examples

there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

some drawbacks.

This

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essay will discuss both ideas.

To begin

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with, having

jobs

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for

students

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is essential that they get insights about many things in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life. It provides opportunities to prepare

students

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for many obstacles they

they

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apply

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may face in future.

Moreover

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, through employing in a

job

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student's

Fix the agreement mistake

students'

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communication skills will enhanced and they earn money as financial support which is beneficial for teenagers

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

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will be independent financially.

For instance

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, some of my school friends have a

job

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in restaurants . They feel proud to

earning

Wrong verb form

earn

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money they support their family and themselves.

Thus

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, it has

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apply

show examples

several positive consequences for

students

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having

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have

show examples

jobs

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On the other hand

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besides

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beneficial

Correct article usage

the beneficial

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results of having

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job

Add an article

a job

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for

students

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, there are other measures

that

Linking Words

Change the verb form

are

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vitally deleterious for them.

First,

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they may feel under pressure and

stressed

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stress

show examples

while

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they studying and working simultaneously.

Hence

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, their school mark may decrease because of

immerse

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immense

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pressure of working.

Also

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, young people should be able to enjoy

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instead

Correct pronoun usage

themselves instead

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of working in a

job

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because in the future they will likely

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

have less time

Change preposition

for

show examples

entertainment.

For example

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, I used to play football and

hung

Wrong verb form

hang

show examples

out with my friends when I was a student which has favourable impacts on my life. In conclusion,

although

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I agree that having

jobs

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for

students

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is beneficial

such

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as earning money or learning new skills that prepare for

further

Linking Words

jobs

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, there are some disadvantages. Feeling under stress and

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not

finding

Verb problem

having

show examples

time to enjoy is one of these disadvantages.

Yasar KhanWed Jul 31 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines both views and presents your opinion in a more structured way. This will make it easier for the reader to understand your stance and the points you will discuss.

coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to improve coherence. This includes using more cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is fully developed.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. While small inaccuracies are acceptable, ensuring that your sentences are complete and clear will strengthen your essay.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples to support your points, such as your references to friends working in restaurants and your own experiences.

task achievement

Your conclusion accurately summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion, which is effective in reinforcing the essay's message.

18
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial independence
work ethic
time management
resume building
career paths
academic responsibilities
stress levels
personal growth
extracurricular activities
sense of responsibility
maturity
adulthood
social development
emotional development

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In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Some people think it is a brilliant idea and brings a lot of benefits; others, however, deny. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. 🔸What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, online education is becoming more and more popular. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon? Use specific details and examples to explain your opinion.

The tendency of human beings copying each other is shown in popularity of fashion clothes and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?