Some people tend to take temporary jobs (they only work for few months of year), for they have time to do other things. Do the advantages and the disadvantages?

#people #jobs #work #months #year #time

A handful of

people

are more conscious about doing part-

time

jobs

as they give spare

time

to other activities.

In contrast

, there are some negative downsides to

this

argument. I agree with the view and will examine the positive aspects and drawbacks and provide my

overall

opinion.

Firstly

, in the modern era, some

people

want to devote

time

to their personal lives with family and friends. One of the most vital things is a career, where the majority of the

time

is usually spent on

people

For example

, online is the biggest platform, nowadays, where lots of tutorials are available for everyone who is intrigued to learn and giving

time

to courses in their spare

time

Therefore

besides

part-

time

jobs

Add a comma

jobs,

show examples

they could do other activities for their improvement of life and fulfillment. There are some downsides to

this

statement, part-

time

jobs

do not give a prodigious amount of knowledge and

also

face problems with the salary. The financial part is a crucial case in human life that’s why some

people

focus on a high wage as popular companies provide for the

jobs

positions.

However

, many

people

want to gather a huge knowledge because they are keen to learn from a knowledgeable person.

For instance

, full-

time

jobs

teach vast information and give higher salaries but part-

time

jobs

do not.

Thus

, if

people

want to be skilful

then

they have to work full-

time

than part-

time

. In conclusion, from my perspective, I firmly agree with the statement that some

people

think of doing part-

time

jobs

instead

of full-

time

as they are able to give other

time

on their personal life.

Submitted by belmontsy01 on Wed Jul 31 2024

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task response

While you have provided a balanced view on part-time versus full-time jobs, try to include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This would help to clarify your argument and make it more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and develops it fully before moving on to the next point. Currently, the essay tends to lose focus at times.

introduction conclusion present

You have effectively introduced the topic and presented your opinion clearly in the introduction. This sets a solid foundation for the essay.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion effectively reiterates your opinion and summarizes the key points discussed in the essay, which provides a coherent end to your argument.

task response

The essay does address both the advantages and disadvantages of taking temporary jobs, which shows a complete response to the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people tend to take temporary jobs (they only work for few months of year), for they have time to do other things. Do the advantages and the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You are bothered by the amount of trash in your local park.Write a letter to the head of the city park department .In your letter: • Describe the problem with the trash • Explain why it is a problem • Say what you think the city should do.

Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.

Some people think that modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?