IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010.
#two #maps #show #road #access #city
The
two
chart
Change to a plural noun
charts
show examples
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of roads
nearby
Change preposition
near
show examples
 the
city
 hospital from 2007 to 2010.
Overall
, around the
city
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 improved remarkably.
A
Change preposition
After a
show examples
 closer look,
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
 stop was removed from
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
road
 and
two
roundabout
Change to a plural noun
roundabouts
show examples
 were added to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
road side
Correct your spelling
roadside
show examples
. In 2007,
cark
Correct your spelling
Cark Park
show examples
park
 was used
both
Change preposition
by both
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 and staff.
However
,
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
 car
park
 was built adjoining the
city
 hospital.
Thus
,
Add an article
the
show examples
old car
park
 was allowed only for hospital staff. Across
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the staff car
park
,
bus
Correct article usage
a bus
show examples
 station was built which
connect
Correct subject-verb agreement
connects
show examples
two
roundabout
Change to a plural noun
roundabouts
show examples
. Ring
road
 and
city
road
were remained
Change to the active voice
remained
have remained
show examples
.
Two
 figures were not developed.
Submitted by bkardelenyilmazz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words two, city, road, park with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • dual carriageway
  • roundabout
  • traffic flow
  • multi-story car park
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian provisions
  • footpaths
  • traffic signals
  • construction phase
  • ambulances
  • carriageway expansion
  • traffic congestion
  • pedestrian crossings
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: