Due to advances in science and technology, the lifestyle of people everywhere in the world has become similar. Is this a positive or a negative development ? "

In recent years, there
has
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have
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been great developments in science and
technology
,
this
has contributed to
people
's way of living becoming similar
world wide
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worldwide
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. These developments are debatable as some
people
support them
while
others view them negatively.
This
essay views these changes negatively because they have caused diseases and moral
decadance
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decadence
. Science and
technology
has
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have
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been used to modify food products, best known as Genetic Modified
Organism
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Organisms
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(
GMO
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GMOs
show examples
). These products are not good for our health they are only good for making profits because the growing process of the plants or poultry is reduced and the sizes are
artifically
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artificially
increased.
For instance
, an organic chicken grows in 6 weeks but after injecting it with certain chemicals it matures in three weeks. These
type
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types
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of products are consumed everywhere in the world and they are causing
people
to get sick with
disease
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diseases
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like obesity. Moreso, we have seen the
developement
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development
of electronic
gargets
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gadgets
show examples
such
as televisions and mobile phones contributing to the
distruction
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destruction
of good morals. A lot of
people
use social media through these gargets to share bad content in the quest for views and likes. I have seen older
people
twerking on TV, what would young
people
learn from
this
, honestly
this
shows how
technology
has ruined our morals. In conclusion, science and
technology
has
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have
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caused a lot of problems and
i
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I
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strongly believe that it has negative developments
worlwide
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worldwide
.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

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task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and statistics to support your arguments, which can strengthen your response and make it more persuasive.
task achievement
Ensure that the reasons provided for your viewpoints are fully developed and clearly linked to your thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and advanced sentence structures for a higher score in coherence and cohesion.
general
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and typos, such as 'developement' instead of 'development' and 'worlwide' instead of 'worldwide'.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and provides a clear thesis statement which sets up the essay well.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the thesis, providing a strong finish to the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which helps in maintaining clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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