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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reportung the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reportung the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #summarise #information #reportung #features #comparisons
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The diagram illustrates the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
percentages of individuals that
purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchased
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart.
Overall
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of people prefer to go to a
cafe
Use synonyms
 to drink
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea, and little
precentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
 of the urban
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 love to buy
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
the people of Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart went to
Use synonyms
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
 to have a cup of
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea representing nearly between 60% to 65%
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 each city.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,just 55% of Brisbane folks went to the
cafe
Use synonyms
, leaving Adelaide in the
last
Linking Words
 place when it comes
ot
Correct your spelling
to
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the cafe
show examples
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
 with about approximately 50% of their resident
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, when it comes to purchasing
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 it by
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
, many people in these
mertapolitan
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
 cities
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to buy
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 with
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
varing
Correct your spelling
varying
 between 45% and 55% of these
cities
Change noun form
city's
cities'
show examples
 population.
As a result
Linking Words
, between 35% and 45% of the societies
sticked
Correct your spelling
stuck
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the idea of buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by okalqusay on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cafe with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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