Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now “one big traffic jam”. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?
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Talking about overpopulation issues,
one
cannot avoid a look
Wrong verb form
looking
through
the alarming increase in Change preposition
at
number
of personal vehicle Change the article
a number
the number
owner
in Fix the agreement mistake
owners
the
urban areas nowadays. In fact, its reasons are multiple and certainly, the solutions to accompany them are various as well. We will be taking a glance at them below.
As the beginning part of the discussion, reasons are worth mentioning Correct article usage
apply
initially
. In this
way, we can see that the development of careers
Fix the agreement mistake
career
oppotunity
is leading to Correct your spelling
opportunities
the
Correct article usage
a
highly
growth in Change the adverb
high
need
Correct article usage
the need
of
Change preposition
for
personal
Add an article
a personal
car
. Fix the agreement mistake
cars
This
is simply because companies house their offices in the most convenient, center
of Change the spelling
centre
big
Add an article
a big
the big
city
while
the accomodation
of their employee Correct your spelling
accommodation
are
often far away from Correct subject-verb agreement
is
city
Correct article usage
the city
center
and Change the spelling
centre
personal
Correct article usage
a personal
car
is the most neccessary
thing for anyone to travel to work. Correct your spelling
necessary
As an
addition to the rising Change preposition
An
of
living Change preposition
apply
standard
, Fix the agreement mistake
standards
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
oftens
Correct your spelling
often
buying
more than Wrong verb form
buy
one
car
for each member instead
of sharing one
vehicle. To be more specific, when a couple need
to travel to two Change the verb form
needs
difference
Replace the word
different
place
of work, they can independently travel by their own Fix the agreement mistake
places
car
instead
of give
Change the form of the verb
giving
one
another lift.
Potential ways to tackle this
problem may include the following. Initially
, the government should invest the
fund of national to improve the public transportation system Change preposition
in the
such
as metro
, Correct article usage
the metro
skytrain
and public Change the capitalization
Skytrain
bus
to help lower the number of personal Fix the agreement mistake
buses
vehicle
in the Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
city
center
during rush hour. Simultaneously, encouraging the use of Change the spelling
centre
bycicle
by adding Correct your spelling
bicycle
bicycles
Add an article
a separated
the separated
separated
Replace the word
separate
line
in Fix the agreement mistake
lines
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
route
and Fix the agreement mistake
routes
implement
Wrong verb form
implementing
the
hiring system to raise Correct article usage
a
the
public awareness. Correct article usage
apply
Lastly
, they can also
limit the number of personal cars enter
the Wrong verb form
entering
city
center
Change the spelling
centre
in
rush hours or introduce new laws Change preposition
during
such
as higher taxes, increased fuel prices and congestion charges to deter people from buying and using cars.
In brief, the above problems of limitation on personal car
using
bring in some discussion and solutions. Indeed, the more effective ways to cope with Replace the word
use
this
issue should need a deeper consideration which is more or less beyond the scope of this
writing due to
time and length limit.Submitted by xbinh91 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve further, ensure that ideas are clearly organized and flow logically from one point to another. This can be achieved by using more transitional phrases and linking words.
task achievement
Develop each argument with more detailed and specific examples. This will help to support the main points and provide a stronger argument.
task achievement
Enhance vocabulary usage to make the essay more engaging and dynamic. Avoid repetitive language and seek to vary word choice where possible.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a good introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.
task achievement
The response adequately addresses the task and covers both aspects of the question.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example