The table below shows the numbers of visitors to the Ashdown museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The chart shows the results of a survey asking visitors how satisfied they are with their visit during the same two periods.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to the Ashdown museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The chart shows the results of a survey asking visitors how satisfied they are with their visit during the same two periods.
The pie charts illustrate the results of visitor
satisfactory
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
surveys within two periods, before the
museum
went through
refurbishment
and after the
refurbishment
.
Overall
, the customer satisfaction has increased
due to
the new
museum
environment.
Last
year before the renovation, the
satisfactory
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
level was quite low. There were 40 and 10 people
felt
Correct pronoun usage
who felt
show examples
displeased and very dissatisfied with the
museum
services, respectively.
Thus
, only 15 visitors were very satisfied and 30 who felt content, clearly lost against the
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
evaluation.
However
this
year,
fortunately
Add the comma(s)
fortunately,
show examples
the
refurbishment
of the
museum
encourages
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better services and
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
environment for the customers. The results
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
that the satisfaction quantity
rise
Replace the word
rose
show examples
to approximately 60% from
last
year, with 40 visitors
feel
Wrong verb form
feeling
show examples
the
museum
services fulfilling and 35 others
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
the
museum
enjoyable.
On the contrary
, the dissatisfaction level
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
to only 20 customers.
To sum up
, the comparison between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
charts shows that the
satisfactory
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
level increased after the
museum
refurbishment
.
Hence
, the
museum
renovation has a great effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
visitors
Change to a genitive case
visitor's
visitors'
show examples
satisfaction.
Submitted by annisaseptidwiyanti on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, refurbishment with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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