IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. Use specific reasons and example to support your position.

#children #language #school #support #position
The question of whether the kids should learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign
languages
 as soon as they start school has been a topic of debate. I strongly agree with the statement. Early
education
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 foreign
languages
 offers social and
multitask
Wrong verb form
multitasking
show examples
 opportunities.
This
 essay will provide the advantages of exploring new
languages
. Young
children
 have
an
Change the article
the
show examples
 ability to absorb
in
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apply
show examples
new
languages
. Researchers say that
language
 learning is easier in the early stages of development. During
this
 time, kids can freely grasp new words, sounds, and phrases. It would be harder for adults who learn the
language
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
this
 natural ability decreases as they become older.
For example
, a young child who learns Chinese from an early age is likely to experience accelerated progress, potentially achieving near-native fluency,
whereas
 an older individual may encounter significant challenges and slower advancement in acquiring the
language
.
Furthermore
, early
language
 learning enhances
overall
 mental development.
Children
 who are bilingual often show better multitasking and problem-solving skills compared to
children
 who speak only one
language
.
This
 is because switching between
languages
 exercises their brains, which improves their ability to manage tasks and make decisions.
Furthermore
, early
language
education
 cultivates cultural awareness and empathy. Immersing
children
 in
languages
 and cultures broadens their perspectives, an essential skill in today's world.
This
 exposure enables them to better understand and navigate various cultural contexts, thereby enhancing communication. In conclusion, starting foreign
language
education
 early provides
children
 with essential skills for personal growth. The benefits of early
language
 learning, including mental and cultural advantages, make it an important part of early
education
. Schools should prioritize foreign
language
 teaching from the start to equip
children
 for future success.
Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on

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task response
While your essay is well-structured and clearly presents your points, you could benefit from providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, include studies or statistics that show the cognitive benefits of early language learning.
coherence cohesion
To achieve higher scores, continue to refine your transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Although your essay is already cohesive, varied transitional phrases can make your argument even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument and summarizing your points.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and thoroughly explained. You've done an excellent job in illustrating the advantages of early foreign language education.
task response
You've provided a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both the cognitive and social benefits of early language learning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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