The bar chart below shows the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010.

#bar #expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods

The

bar

chart

illustrates five different consumer goods and

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

expenditures in two countries. Consumer goods are cars, computers, books, perfume and cameras and the countries are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

France

and the

Correct your spelling

show examples

Overall

, most of the expenditures

made

Add a missing verb

are made

show examples

by the

Correct your spelling

show examples

However

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

France

still spent more

Change preposition

show examples

two

group

Change to a plural noun

groups

show examples

of items, computers and perfume.

According to

the

bar

chart

, the

Correct your spelling

show examples

spent more than 450,000 pounds

for

Change preposition

show examples

cars, which is the peak number in

this

chart

. Unlike the

Correct your spelling

show examples

, there is no particular item the

France

spent more than 400,000 pounds.

Moreover

, not only

peak

Fix the agreement mistake

peaks

show examples

in the

bar

chart

but

also

the lowest amount of money spent by the

Correct your spelling

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

perfume.

Furthermore

, the

Correct your spelling

show examples

side of the

bar

chart

has more

flactucated

Correct your spelling

fluctuation

than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

France

. The biggest price gap between the

Correct your spelling

show examples

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

France

is in Cameras,

while

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

France

spent 150,000 pounds, the

Correct your spelling

show examples

spent over 350,000.

Submitted by enver07600 on Thu Aug 01 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words bar, chart, france, uk with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

151 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The bar chart below shows the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010.

in some countries more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building their living. what are the reasons for this? how can people research this?

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?