In the future, people may no longer be able to pay things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phone. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

Nowadays,contactless

payment

Use synonyms

methods have been

enormusly

Correct your spelling

enormously

used. as

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

of recent studies which show that undoubtable relation between communicable diseases with different

Change preposition

apply

show examples

lifestyle

habbits

Correct your spelling

habits

Body paragraph 1

one of these important

habbits

Correct your spelling

habits

habitats

use

Add an article

the use

show examples

of cash to purchase

commudities

Correct your spelling

commodities

communities

for

Linking Words

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

the average usage of physical

payement soloutions

Correct your spelling

payment solutions

in Saudi Arabia

had shown

Wrong verb form

showed

show examples

siginficant

Correct your spelling

significant

decrease from 2021 to 2022 to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

20% ,

Correct word choice

and 30

show examples

% respectively.

Body paragraph 2

governmental

Add an article

a governmental

the governmental

show examples

movement toward

achiving

Correct your spelling

achieving

archiving

digital excellence,

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

would be

enforced

Verb problem

forced

show examples

to use digital

payment

Use synonyms

soloutions

Correct your spelling

solutions

thus

Linking Words

it would affect people's spending

habbits

Correct your spelling

habits

. tangible

money

Use synonyms

has

Correct article usage

a psycological

show examples

psycological

Correct your spelling

psychological

impact on how to behave

money

Use synonyms

. the purchase

apetite

Correct your spelling

appetite

would not be as same as

untangible

Correct your spelling

intangible

show examples

money

Use synonyms

or digital

payment

Use synonyms

options.

Body paragraph 3

in contrast

Linking Words

, utilizing paper

money

Use synonyms

would not be the safest option. since it might be lost.

furthermore

Linking Words

,there is a high chance

to be

Change preposition

of being

show examples

a victim of pickpocket

theifs

Correct your spelling

thieves

especialiy

Correct your spelling

especially

in high population spots like landscapes or

high

Replace the word

highly

show examples

visited sites in capital cities.

Conclusion

in conclusion, contactless

payment

Use synonyms

methods

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

uncountable pros which enlarge the usage of them as

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

payment

Use synonyms

option for

customer

Fix the agreement mistake

customers

show examples

although

Linking Words

varity

Correct your spelling

variety

of cons that enhance the physical

soloyution

Correct your spelling

solution

presence in upcoming years.

sultanali770

Aug 1, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

While your essay does address the topic and responds to the questions posed, there are several areas for improvement. Firstly, ensure that your introduction provides a clear and concise overview of the topic, and that your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points discussed. Additionally, try to support your main points with more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.

coherence

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure and sequence of ideas; however, there are issues with coherence and clarity. Make sure to use appropriate transitional phrases and connectors to link your ideas more smoothly. Also, aim for more variety in sentence structures to improve readability.

cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice. There are several instances of incorrect word forms and spelling errors that need to be corrected. Simplifying some sentences may help in avoiding grammatical mistakes. Additionally, work on improving your vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.

task response

You have demonstrated a good understanding of the general trend towards contactless payment and provided relevant statistical data to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay contains an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which shows an awareness of proper essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

188 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

cashless society
digital payment systems
financial institutions
transparency
illegal activities
privacy reasons
digital trace
technologically challenged
cybersecurity threats
technical failures
cultural attachments
resistant to change

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, lots of ways appear to help students get their best results in academic education. This author argues that the drawbacks of lacking communicative skills and educating without professionalism outweigh the benefit of flexible time to study.
7
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Risk-taking is one of the significant aspects that shape personal and career development. Although risks include possible failures and setbacks, the benefits are more likely to be seen than the drawbacks. This is because, at times, it is necessary to have the courage to go out of one’s comfort zone and achieve great things, gain valuable knowledge, and grow as a person.
7.5
band
write a letter to a team mate who is in hospital about the match
Hope you recovering well from your injury. I am writing this letter to inform you about the match we played last week.
8
band
Some people consider that governments spend money on the art. Advantages and Disadvantages?
It is thought by some people that governments should dedicate money to the art. Investing the state budget in this field would certainly aid several areas of business and culture, but there will also be some drawbacks.
6.5
band
It has been suggested that cars and public transport should be banned from city centres and only bicycles be allowed instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that automobiles and public transportation should be eliminated. These should be replaced by only bikes.This essay completely disagrees with this statement because motors and public transport are more convenient having enough space and also time saving.

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phone. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

write a letter to a team mate who is in hospital about the match

Some people consider that governments spend money on the art. Advantages and Disadvantages?

It has been suggested that cars and public transport should be banned from city centres and only bicycles be allowed instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?