In the future, people may no longer be able to pay things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phone. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Nowadays,contactless
payment
methods have been
enormusly
Correct your spelling
enormously
used. as
result
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a result
show examples
of recent studies which show that undoubtable relation between communicable diseases with different
of
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apply
show examples
lifestyle
habbits
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habits
. one of these important
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
habitats
is
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
of cash to purchase
commudities
Correct your spelling
commodities
communities
.
for
instance
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instance,
show examples
the average usage of physical
payement soloutions
Correct your spelling
payment solutions
in Saudi Arabia
had shown
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
a
siginficant
Correct your spelling
significant
decrease from 2021 to 2022 to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
20% ,
30
Correct word choice
and 30
show examples
% respectively. as
governmental
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a governmental
the governmental
show examples
movement toward
achiving
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achieving
archiving
digital excellence,
citizen
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citizens
show examples
would be
enforced
Verb problem
forced
show examples
to use digital
payment
soloutions
Correct your spelling
solutions
.
thus
it would affect people's spending
habbits
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habits
. tangible
money
has
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a psycological
show examples
psycological
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psychological
impact on how to behave
money
. the purchase
apetite
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appetite
would not be as same as
untangible
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intangible
show examples
money
or digital
payment
options.
in contrast
, utilizing paper
money
would not be the safest option. since it might be lost.
furthermore
,there is a high chance
to be
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of being
show examples
a victim of pickpocket
theifs
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thieves
especialiy
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especially
in high population spots like landscapes or
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
visited sites in capital cities. in conclusion, contactless
payment
methods
has
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have
show examples
uncountable pros which enlarge the usage of them as
main
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the main
show examples
payment
option for
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
.
although
varity
Correct your spelling
variety
of cons that enhance the physical
soloyution
Correct your spelling
solution
presence in upcoming years.
Submitted by sultanali770 on

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task response
While your essay does address the topic and responds to the questions posed, there are several areas for improvement. Firstly, ensure that your introduction provides a clear and concise overview of the topic, and that your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points discussed. Additionally, try to support your main points with more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure and sequence of ideas; however, there are issues with coherence and clarity. Make sure to use appropriate transitional phrases and connectors to link your ideas more smoothly. Also, aim for more variety in sentence structures to improve readability.
cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice. There are several instances of incorrect word forms and spelling errors that need to be corrected. Simplifying some sentences may help in avoiding grammatical mistakes. Additionally, work on improving your vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.
task response
You have demonstrated a good understanding of the general trend towards contactless payment and provided relevant statistical data to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which shows an awareness of proper essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cashless society
  • digital payment systems
  • financial institutions
  • transparency
  • illegal activities
  • privacy reasons
  • digital trace
  • technologically challenged
  • cybersecurity threats
  • technical failures
  • cultural attachments
  • resistant to change
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