overweight is becoming a hot major concern that is alarming in many nations.
It is generally admissible that
overweight
is becoming a Add a missing verb
being overweight
hot
major concern Correct word choice
apply
that is
alarming in many nations. This
essay will outline the reasons as well as
propose some solutions for this
phenomenon.
Granted, there are several reasons which directly lead to obesity. In terms of individuals, an imbalanced diet becomes the main reason for gaining weight. Therefore
, people
seem not to control the amount of food
they consume and immerse themselves in unhealthy lifestyles. For instance
, research has found that 60% of people
in the 30-40 age group tend not to do exercises after consuming a large amount of food
. In terms of the food
industry, the fast-paced development of fast food
chains potentially leads to the switching of main meals to junk food
in society, especially with
young Change preposition
among
people
. This
is because fast food
is considered to be a convenient choice and delicious that
more and more Correct word choice
and
people
are inclined to taste instead
of traditional foods. Correct pronoun usage
it instead
Consequently
, the fat proponents contained in these foods directly propel individuals into gaining weight, resulting in the
large number of overweight Change the article
a
people
.
To tackle the aforementioned problems, some solutions have been proposed. The primary solution revolved around raising educationally
awareness about the negative consequences of obesity for Change the adverb
educational
people
. As a result
, thorough
understanding Correct article usage
a thorough
about
these serious issues could help individuals to consider the best value for their health. Change preposition
of
Therefore
, they could tailor a healthy diet in order to control the correlation between working out and consuming food
. Moreover
, the government should restrict the production of fast food
such
as: decrease
the amount of sugar or Wrong verb form
decreasing
ensure
Wrong verb form
ensuring
the
safe elements. Correct article usage
apply
This
can improve the quality of supply chains and as a result
, the negative diseases could be avoided or minimized.
In conclusion, due to
the given reasons associated with unhealthy lifestyle
and Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
promotion
of the fast Correct article usage
the promotion
food
industry, people
should follow these solutions in order to deal with this
obesity.Submitted by document.hanie on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples directly support the arguments you are making. For instance, when talking about government restrictions on fast food, you might include specific examples of successful policies or programs.
coherence cohesion
Work on making smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. While your essay is easily understandable and logically structured, a few more transitional phrases could enhance the flow.
task achievement
Clear and comprehensive ideas are presented in a structured manner, with a clear response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Strong logical structure and presence of an introduction and conclusion that encapsulates the main points effectively.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!