Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In life, some
people
think that competing with others at
work
,
school
, and in daily life is good. Others believe that it is better to
work
together and help each other.
This
essay will talk about both ideas and give my own opinion.
Competition
can be good because it helps
people
do their best. When
people
try to win, they
work
harder and improve their skills.
For example
, in sports, athletes train a lot to win games.
Also
,
competition
can bring new ideas and better results. At
work
, employees try to think of new ways to do their jobs better to get promotions.
Finally
,
competition
can make
work
,
school
, and daily tasks more exciting. It gives
people
a goal to achieve and makes
things
more interesting.
On the other hand
,
cooperation
helps
people
work
well together. When
people
help each other, they build strong relationships and trust.
For example
, group projects at
school
teach students how to
work
as a team.
Cooperation
also
makes tasks easier and more fun. Doing
things
together can be more enjoyable than doing them alone.
Moreover
, working together reduces stress and pressure. When
people
cooperate, they share the workload and support each other, which makes
things
less stressful. I think that
cooperation
is better than
competition
. When
people
work
together, they can achieve more and have better relationships. It is less stressful and more enjoyable to cooperate.
However
, I
also
believe that a balance between
competition
and
cooperation
is the best. Sometimes, a little
competition
can motivate
people
to do their best, but
cooperation
should be the main focus. In conclusion, both
competition
and
cooperation
have their good points.
Competition
can help
people
improve and make
things
exciting,
while
cooperation
builds strong relationships and makes tasks easier. In my opinion,
cooperation
is more important, but a mix of both can be the best way to succeed in
work
,
school
, and daily life.
Submitted by taduyvuong on

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coherence cohesion
To further improve the logical structure, include more transitions between paragraphs and deeper explanations for your examples.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to provide a richer context, which will strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the structure of the essay, which is excellent for guiding the reader.
complete response
You've balanced both perspectives effectively, giving a fair discussion of both competition and cooperation.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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