Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?
Some territories implement new
laws
to limit employees' working hours
. In my opinion, these laws
have pros and cons because it
may increase Correct pronoun usage
they
creativity
. However
, It may also
reduce the eficciency of workers
.
First of all, I believe that these laws
are implemented to make workers
more efficient in their jobs. Furthermore
, they believe that these policies will protect employee rights.
On the one hand, limiting working hours
may enhance creativity
. If employees work
less, they might give their everything to job
, they can Correct article usage
the job
focus
and think better and innovative
Add a missing verb
have innovative
ideas
more. For instance
, If workers
have to work
at least 8 hours
a day, they can get tired easily. Moreover
, they cannot focus
very well because nobody can focus
or think for 8 hours
. If we decrease these hours
, workers
may want to give their everything to think new ideas
and focus
because they do not get tired as much as their past working hours
. Hence
, diminish
these Wrong verb form
diminishing
hours
may enhance their focus
and productivity at work
.
On the other hand
, due to
these policies
people who do not care about their productivity and Add a comma
policies,
creativity
may work
less and inefficient at the work
. For example
, If they do not want to work
and they do not care how much idea
they think Change the quantifier
many ideas
or
how can they Change preposition
of or
rise
their Correct your spelling
raise
creativeness
, these Replace the word
creativity
laws
make them lazier than ever because they do not have to work
for hours
right now, they just have to go to the work
, spend your time with nonsense activities, get paid and repeat everything. Although
,
They have to Remove the comma
apply
work
8 hours
at work
, they do not care what they do. As a result
of this
, reducing working hours
might also
reduce the new ideas
from people who have to work
for hours
and more.
To sum up
, Some governments introduced new policies to limit working hours
. I believe they introduce
these Wrong verb form
introduced
laws
because they think these laws
may increase efficiency and creativity
at work
. In my opinion, these laws
have advantages as well as
disadvantages because I argue that If workers
want to create innovative ideas
they have to give their all focus
at work
and they should not get tired so much. Nevertheless
, If workers
do not want to work
and think creative ideas
, this
reduce
in working Replace the word
reduction
hours
may affect their productivity in a negative way.Submitted by taylanpolat6124 on
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task achievement
Your essay presents relevant ideas. To improve, ensure every point you make is clearly developed with specific examples and explanations. For instance, the argument about increasing creativity could be expanded with more specific workplace examples and studies that support this claim.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow of your essay. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next with clear linkage phrases. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea that ties back to your thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-formed and address the essay prompt effectively.
task achievement
You bring up relevant points and examples, such as the potential impacts on creativity and productivity.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example